Page 101 of The Christmas You Crash

He could be. But I’m not sure I’ve let myself go there because my dad complicates things. Even if Ryder is in love with me, I don’t expect him to choose me over his career, if push comes to shove. Not that my dad would ever allow that to happen. Still. In those quiet moments before I fall asleep, I picture us together. When my eyes grow heavy and my body relaxes, I can’t help imagining what our lives could be like.

A cute house somewhere. A small wedding, surrounded by friends and family. Maybe a kid or two, many years down the line. But when those images try to invade my mind during the day, I push them away. It all feels too fragile and tenuous. And, despite Ryder’s sweet words and heart-melting actions, there’s a deep part of me that doesn’t believe I’m worth choosing. Not when it becomes inconvenient to do so. After all, my dad never has. And he’s my dad.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Rachel murmurs, giving my hand a squeeze. “But I think you owe it to yourself and Ryder to be honest about your feelings.”

“I know.” I blow a breath out through my closed lips, making them vibrate. “I think he’s the one.”

The cab pulls up in front of Rachel’s building. She pays the driver and aims a blinding smile in my direction. “I think he is too.”

We’re both laughing as we spill out of the cab and make our way into her building and up to her apartment. Admitting my feelings out loud has me feeling light and free. Like I’m nothing more than a fluffy cloud dancing across the sky.

“Do you have anything hot to wear to breakfast the day after tomorrow?” Rachel asks as we hang our coats.

“Hot? No. I wasn’t planning to go on a date while I was here.”

My best friend claps her hands. “Then, tomorrow we should grab lunch, do some shopping, and help you figure out how you’re going to tell that hot man of yours that you’re in love with him.”

“Rach…”

“Nope.” She shakes her head at me. “There’s no talking me out of this. I don’t give a crap what your dad thinks, Lex. That man is perfect for you, and he worships the ground you walk on. You’re going to take what you want, and your dad will just have to accept it.”

Rachel is vastly overestimating my father’s ability to accept things he doesn’t like, but I can’t deny that I want Ryder.

“Fine,” I say. “We’ll go shopping, and I’ll consider telling Ryder how I feel. But you’re going to help me think of ways to break it to my dad.”

She pulls me into a tight hug. “That, I can do. Now I need to go to bed. Heckling Chase Bowen wore me out.”

Laughing, I squeeze Rachel right back. “I think it wore him out too.”

We say our good nights as we break apart. My heart is full of gratitude for my amazing friend. And my head is full of all the ways telling Ryder I love him could go perfectly right. Or terribly wrong.

forty-seven

RYDER

The piercing beepof my alarm jolts me out of sleep before a pillow hits me in the face. Aaron, my teammate and roommate, groans.

“Dude. What the hell? It’s like seven. Our flight isn’t for another five hours.”

A deep stretch helps my mind wake up, along with my body. “Sorry, man. Secret breakfast date with my girl. Cover for me if Coach comes to the room?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Aaron waves his hand at me.

I take the fastest shower ever, throw on some warm clothes, and quietly slip out of my room and down the generic-looking hotel hallway. A quick glance around reveals that the coast is clear, and I stride out of the warmth of the hotel and into the cold Chicago winter. The wind howls as it races between skyscrapers and down city streets before nipping painfully at my exposed face.

I’m practically an icicle by the time I make it to the little breakfast place where Lexi and I agreed to meet at. At least, untilI spot her beautiful face. The sight of her wide smile thaws me instantly.

“Hey, gorgeous.” I slide into the booth next to her before cupping her cheeks and kissing her silly. We’re going to be one ofthosecouples this morning. The ones that sit next to each other and can’t keep their hands to themselves. The kind of couple other diners roll their eyes at and secretly hate. I don’t give a shit.

Lexi hums against my mouth, her body melting into mine. “Hey, Handsome. Is it weird to say I missed you? I just saw you the day before yesterday.”

Her words are like a warm hug. “Not weird at all. I’ve been annoying the guys because I check my phone every five minutes to see if you’ve texted.”

That earns a sweet giggle from my girl. I love the sound of her laughter. Making her happy is practically a drug, at this point. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. I open my mouth, the wordsI love youready to spill out like honey when our server approaches the table. That’s okay. I’ve got plenty of time to tell Lexi how I feel.

“That was a pretty tough game yesterday,” she says with a slight wince after our server leaves. “I watched the highlights.”

Every minute of the game was a battle. After winning the first game by the skin of our teeth, game two was even more brutal. By the time the third period ended, both teams had seen their share of players sent to the sin bin, there were a few times the game nearly devolved into an all-out brawl, and as the clock ticked down to zero, we were tied 2-2.

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