“I’m a virgin,” she blurts.
The Sprite sprays from my mouth and lands on her. “Shit, sorry.”
I pick up a rag and begin to pat her shoulders like a lunatic.
“Mack, stop! What the hell is happening?” she asks, looking so confused.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, deflating. “You haven’t slept with anyone at this university?” I ask for clarification like a madman.
“That is what being a virgin means,” she says sarcastically, but she’s rubbing one hand on her opposite arm. She’s blushing and clearly uncomfortable.
I’ve been torturing myself the past two years, imagining her sleeping with guys on campus. I couldn’t handle the thought, and it was all for nothing.
“And Knox?” I ask.
“I’ve been out with him a lot. He’s been patient. He’s nice and good-looking.”
I roll my eyes.
“What?” she asks.
“He looks like a Ken doll,” I reply.
Ruby laughs at me. I wonder if she is reading my jealousy.
“He’s a good-looking guy, Macklin,” she retorts, and she never calls me by my full name. “I’m just not feeling. . .”
“Turned on?” I finish the sentence for her, knowing I am treading in shark-infested waters.
She nods and her teeth dig into her lower lip.
Fuck.
“Were you turned on when I hugged you last night?” I ask, unable to stop myself. This is a disaster spiraling out of control.
She nods again.
I run my hands through my hair.
She must read my hesitance mixed with fear because then she says, “I’ll just continue to see Knox. I’m sure, eventually, I’ll feel ready to take things to the next level with him. Or maybe I’m just nervous and that’s why I haven’t felt ready. I’m just so comfortable with you, and maybe that’s why having your bodyagainst mine, feeling your muscles beneath my fingertips. . .it made me feel hot.”
I am so so-so-so fucked right now.
“Periwinkle, that’s not how attraction works. If you wanted this guy, your body would know after a few dates. Maybe even after one date,” I explain, feeling my heart racing at an erratic pace.
“Girls are different, Mack. Some of us aren’t attracted to every guy we see. We can’t just jump into bed with any good-looking guy.”
“Guys aren’t attracted to every girl they see either,” I clarify.
“Oh, come on. You have your flavors of the week and the guys here all see a nice set of breasts and a pretty face, and they’re good to go,” she reminds.
“You aren’t wrong about some guys, but I don’t take girls to bed every week. Sometimes I go weeks without, and sometimes I go for a second and third round with a girl,” I explain.
“Well, that’s good to know,” she says sarcastically.
“But I haven’t been with anyone in weeks,” I find myself confessing. I swallow hard because I can’t contain my next sentence. “Because I can’t scrub my mind after seeing you that day.”
“You mean you saw all of me?” she asks, her cerulean eyes wide with shock.