Page 47 of Forever Player

“I can retire at the end of this season if I want to, Willow. I won’t be an absent father. Not by choice,” he insists.

“I. . .you. . .”

“Okay, I’ve thrown you for a loop,” he says, and he takes Maylee and tucks her into her stroller and covers her with a blanket. Then he uses another blanket to cover the stroller and block the cold air. “Did you want to get back to your old job? You’re a physical therapist working at a gym, right?”

My mouth drops and I nod, feeling speechless. He would give up his whole career for me and Maylee. The thought isn’t processing.

“Willow, please say something because I am getting worried here. I don’t want to come across as pushy or aggressive,” he continues.

I don’t even know what happens next, but I lean forward and kiss him. My icy lips press to his cold lips and I kiss him. It takes a second for him to react and then he is wrapping me in his arms and groaning into my mouth.

“Kissing you is the best thing ever,” he states.

“I’m lost, Brett. I don’t know what is happening here. You can’t give everything up for us. People don’t do that kind of thing. I don’t want you to give everything up and then resent us.”

“Honey, I would never resent you or Maylee, I promise as long as I live. I’ve had a good career. I wasn’t going to play hockey forever. As it is I’ve slowed down somewhat from my early years.”

“I can’t come back to New York. I don’t have enough money. I gave up my apartment and we don’t know you all that well,” I mutter.

He gives me a small smile, his eyes creasing in the corners. It’s the second time he’s looking at me with an admiration that no one has ever shown me.

“I know we don’t know each other all that well, but I know enough. I know you are a great mom; you are kind and caring and worry about others. You take care of everyone but no one has taken care of you. I want to do that for you.”

My eyes fill with tears. I am trying so hard to hold back because we are surrounded by so many people.

He reaches up and his hand caresses my cheek, his thumb moves methodically, swiping beneath my eyes.

“Don’t be upset. Have I said all the wrong things?”

I shake my head. “You’re saying all the right things and that terrifies me.”

“I get it. I’m scared too. I’ve never been anyone’s dad. I’ve never tried to gain the trust of a woman because I want her like my next breath. This is all new to me. If you decide to come back to New York with me, know there aren’t any expectations where we are concerned. I have an extra bedroom; it’s a nice size and fully furnished because my sister used to come visit. I also have an office that is a bit smaller but can convert into a nursery easily. You don’t need money. I got plenty and before you argue, don’t, please. I should’ve been here for you, Willow, even with all the crazy that kept us apart. You can go back to work or stay home. We can get a babysitter for Maylee. Whatever you want, I’d be open to. I just don’t want to leave here in a week and a half and not see you guys until the season is over.”

I blow out a breath. “Whoa.”

“Is your head spinning?” he asks.

“Just a little,” I confess.

“You said you wanted to go back to New York. I’m offering you New York. It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up, but I don’t want to pressure you. Take your time and don’t feel obligated. Like I said, I’ll retire if I have too.”

His offer and his words have my heart beating fast. I barely know him and yet my heart keeps falling just a little bit farther and it doesn’t make logical sense. Love isn’t logical, but it isn’t supposed to happen to me.

“How about we go grab some lunch, I’m starving,” he changes the subject.

“Are you always hungry?” I ask, laughing.

“Pretty much.” He nods.

Once again he wraps one arm around me and with his other hand he pushes the stroller. People from town watch us as we walk together. Some smile and some give us curious looks. I also feel like I am watching us as if I am an outsider because I don’t know what is happening here. It’s like we are somehow melding together without trying or with me fighting this feeling, whatever it is.

We get to the truck and Maylee is sleeping when Brett transfers her to the car seat. He’s so gentle and careful with her. It makes the organ in my chest feel like it’s growing just a little bit larger.

We get into the cab of the truck and drive in silence while I think of what living with Brett would look like. We can’t get together, yet I spontaneously kissed him out of nowhere. I wasn’t thinking, just acting, and I need to tamp that shit down because I won’t set myself up for heartbreak or for a relationship that will end in World War Three.

He side glances at me a couple of times, giving me a curious look, and I shift in my seat. I barely know him. This is all very crazy, but we do share a child. Brett has been an open book, but I am not like him. I can’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. I’ve learned to keep them guarded. I can’t let him tear down my walls. No. I won’t let him tear down my walls.

CHAPTERNINE

---