Page 14 of Forever Player

“I’m so sorry, Brett. I don’t even know what to say,” she begins.

I straighten up, walk over to the sink, and throw some cold water on my face. I also rinse my mouth with some mouthwash that’s beside the sink, and then I wash my hands with soap.

“I was so gutted after I got that text message from you,” she says.

“That wasn’t from me,” I remind her, feeling angry for this unfortunate state of events.

“I know, but it gutted my world. I got so upset. So, so upset, Brett. I was a mess and pregnant. I started spotting and Jacob and Lev took me to the hospital,” she explains.

I hiss, thinking she could’ve lost Maylee because of some sadistic asshole who stole my phone.

“Lev told the doctor what happened. He ran some tests and told me the baby was okay, but I would have to dial back my stress, that it was really bad for the baby,” she says and tears stain her cheeks.

“Shit, Willow, I’m so damn sorry.”

“It was all a misunderstanding. You don’t have to be sorry, but my sense of self-preservation kicked in. I had to calm down and disconnect. I focused on staying calm and I didn’t speak with my friends in New York for months on end. I ate well and took long brisk walks in the fresh air. I took my vitamins. My focus was Maylee.”

“Of course, it was,” I sigh, gripping my hair. This all makes sense, but I hate how fate kept me apart from my kid.

I feel my cheeks get wet, and I realize I am crying too. I don’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone, but I must have been a kid. I’m the one who was there to wipe my sister’s tears away. The one making sure everyone in my family was always looked after. I’m not the one who is supposed to fall apart, yet my heart feels broken in two.

A loud cry makes me flinch.

Willow wipes at her tears with her fingers. “She must be hungry,” she says and turns out of the bathroom.

I follow her into Maylee’s room.

“Hi, sweet girl,” she coos softly. She picks up our daughter and I see her little legs. Willow holds her against her chest and her face is to me. She is so beautiful and sweet. Willow takes a seat on the rocker in the room. “I breastfeed her,” she explains.

“Do you want me to leave?” I offer because I don’t know what protocol should be.

“You can stay.”

She lifts up her shirt and our daughter goes from crying her eyes out to quiet and eating in a second. Just watching the two of them like that does something to my insides.

I take a seat on the floor and watch Willow feeding Maylee. My daughter. My daughter. It doesn’t feel real. Nothing makes sense because I never wanted kids, and yet I’ve never felt as much love as I do now. I would do anything for that little baby.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Willow whispers. “That night we both spoke about never settling down and never wanting kids. . .”

“Don’t say it, Willow. I was wrong that night. Very, very wrong. I love her,” I say and the tears make a return, filling my eyes.

“I get it. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I loved her and vowed to do my best for her.”

“That’s why you came to me tonight, despite everything you thought you knew about me,” I say to her.

She nods. “I did it for Maylee, Brett. I’d do anything for her.”

“I get it. So would I. I just hate all the time I’ve lost.”

“I’m sorry,” she replies.

“Please don’t apologize. This wasn’t your fault. You did the best you could, given what you knew,” I assure her, because I don’t want her feeling guilty too; it won’t achieve anything.

“You’re being kind, Brett. We had fun that night, but we don’t really know each other,” she says, sounding worried.

“I know we don’t but I can tell you I love that baby over there, and I’ll do anything for the two of you,” I assure her.

“You mean for her,” she corrects.

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