Page 97 of Anti Player

“I know I can’t ask for forgiveness. I thank you for making the effort to come see me. I hear I have one hell of a cute grandkid.”

“You don’t have a right to call him that. You abandoned us over and over. We could never depend on you,” I accuse, and then I feel bad for chiding a dying man. “Sorry.” I wipe at my cheeks.

“Better to get things off your chest. You’re right. I was unreliable. I tried to do the best I could when I was home. Teaching Brett to skate, playing basketball with Henry. You were more guarded. Your mother’s daughter. You were sensitive to her pain, I guess. You never did let me in and I understand why. I just want you to know I am so sorry,” he says and then he begins to cry. Something cracks in the middle of my chest and all this compassion suddenly springs forth inside me. He was sick. Could he be blamed for his sickness? He tried to hide the worst from us.

“I forgive you,” I blurt.

He pauses and looks at me. “You don’t have to say that.”

“But I do.” I reach out a hand and take his. It makes him stop crying and he smiles.

At that point Henry and Brett walk into the room. My guess is they were both hanging out in the hall watching to make sure I was okay. I’m grateful for those two knuckleheads having my back all the time.

We spend another twenty minutes or so visiting with Dad and then we head home.

Mom has cooked up a feast for dinner but I’m in no mood to eat, so I stay in my room while Asher hangs out with the guys and Mom enjoying dinner.

After dinner, I tell them I need to go for a walk. Henry offers to come with me. Kaleb gives me a look that says he probably wants to come with me, but I tell them I need to be on my own.

It’s dusk as I walk along the sidewalk. I don’t go too far from the house because it will be dark soon.

My cell rings and Rebel’s name lights my screen.

“Hello,” I answer.

“Maddie, how are you?” she says. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

“I’ve been better,” I sigh.

“How are things going back home?” she asks.

I tell her about my meeting with Dad. It feels good to talk to someone who gets me. It also makes me think of Rebel’s story. Her dad caused an accident that made her loose part of her leg. My dad left when he got ugly. It makes me realize that I was fortunate, even in that small twisted way.

“At least he apologized and can acknowledge his mistakes,” Rebel says. “That’s kind of huge.”

“It is,” I agree.

“How is Florida?” I ask her.

“It’s been really nice. Kids are having a blast. We spend the days at the pool. Then we go for dinner. We miss you and Asher.”

“Thanks,” I say.

“Maybe next summer,” she says.

“I got the scholarship to the Texas culinary school I applied for. I’m moving to Texas soon.”

“Whoa. Congratulations, but we are going to be sad to see you go,” Rebel says. “How did Kaleb take the news?”

“I told him along with the rest of my family. He really didn’t say anything other than congratulations, honestly. I told you this fling was temporary,” I say, and every time I say those stupid words my heart twists.

“Maddie, I don’t mean to put my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I’m a big romantic. I can’t help myself. If you knew how Wolfe and I got together, you’d understand. It was the most unlikely of circumstances.”

“I’d love to hear that story.”

“One day,” she replies. “Right now, I need to say that I saw you and Kaleb together the day we went to Coney Island. By me saying I saw you; I mean I saw those feelings you two shared, the way you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. That kind of feeling, it doesn’t happen often. Some people never experience it ever, and here you are not acknowledging what it is.”

I laugh but then I begin to tear up. “What am I supposed to say, Rebel? That I’m madly in love with the guy and I probably have been since I was sixteen years old?”

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