Page 92 of Anti Player

“I don’t know if I want to stay here,” I admit. “What if I bump into my mom?”

“Tell her what you think of her. Trust me, it feels good to get that shit off your chest. I just did that with my dad. He listened and apologized. He acknowledges that he was a useless asshole.”

“I can’t say those things to my mom, Brett.”

“You can, trust me,” he says.

I laugh because he is something special.

We head inside and Brett brings my suitcases in, but before we get to the door he asks. “There’s nothing going on between you and Maddie, right?”

I swallow, look him in the eyes, and say no. I am a big fucking wimp. I should be telling him I have real feelings for her, but I can’t tell him if I haven’t told her. This is all so messed up. I don’t even know how I got here.

His mother welcomes us inside. She has literally cooked a feast for us. This is what I remember. Mrs. Noble was always the best cook. Maddie would spend a lot of time in the kitchen with her, making the best food and treats. It would always be the best part of my day.

We all sit down at the table for a meal.

“This all looks so delicious, thanks for having me,” I say to Mrs. Noble.

“It’s good to have you all back around my table, although, I wish it was under different circumstances,” she says.

“Some of us haven’t been home in a while,” Henry says, looking between Maddie, me, and Brett. “So at least we’re all here.”

“With the addition of Asher,” Brett says, and he tickles him.

“Wait until you try your grams mac and cheese,” Brett says to Asher.

“My mommy makes the best mac and cheese,” he replies. The table bursts into laughter.

“If anything, kids are always honest.” Maddie shrugs and winks at her son.

“Maddie, dear, I think you passed me a long time ago in the kitchen, and I couldn’t be prouder,” Mrs. Noble says with a warm smile.

“Thanks, Mom, but you taught me most of what I know,” she replies.

We all dig into the meal of roasted meat, roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, and homemade sourdough bread.

After the meal, Mrs. Noble gets each of us settled into rooms. Maddie and her brothers take their old rooms, which leaves me in the guest room down the hall.

As I’m getting settled, I look out the window and see my old house. I wonder how my mother is doing. Does she ever think of me, Jane, or Jack? I leave my suitcase and head downstairs to the front door. I don’t know where everyone went, but I slip on my shoes and walk next door. I’m here and I need to know why she hasn’t reached out. Is she sick? Maybe she hasn’t been able to reach out and I’m the asshole.

My legs carry me across the grass like I’m on a mission.

In the distance I hear Henry call my name, but I wave him off. I’m not stopping now.

I knock on the door hard enough that it brings pain to my knuckles. Am I angry? I don’t even know what I’m feeling.

My mom answers the door. She’s dressed in a sundress. Her hair is dyed red and she has a smile on her face. She looks youthful and her smile is wide.

“Kaleb?” she asks, shocked.

“I . . . was visiting with the Nobles,” I say, suddenly feeling frozen.

A man comes up behind her. “Susy, who is at the door?”

Mom raises her brows and stares at the man. He wraps an arm around her waist so he must be a husband or boyfriend. Mom doesn’t look sick; she looks better than ever.

When Mom doesn’t answer the man, he sizes me up and then it’s like recognition strikes.

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