Page 84 of Anti Player

After walking around a while, the kids say they’re hungry so we all go to eat in a pizzeria. I sit and eat pizza and watch my boy interacting with the other kids. He’s so happy. Skylar and Ellie tell me about different schools in the city close to Brett’s apartment. I’m not sure where we are going to land yet so I haven’t registered Asher for school. I thank them for all the great information.

At the end of the day, we head back to the city on the train. Asher falls asleep on his seat but his head rests in my lap. The ride back is quiet since everyone is exhausted. Adults included.

When we get back to Times Square, Asher doesn’t want to walk because he’s half asleep. Kaleb lifts him up and Asher places his head on Kaleb’s shoulder. My heart splatters to the ground watching those two. I’ve never seen Asher behave this way with a man other than Brett. Asher stays sleeping in Kaleb’s arms in the Uber on the way back to the apartment. When Kaleb places him in his bed and then places the covers over him, tucking him in tight, it’s not only my heart beating fast but my ovaries exploding too.

I leave Asher’s room and Kaleb follows me out to the main room. I yawn. He caresses my cheek.

“Get some sleep,” he says. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You don’t have to,” I tell him. “I’m okay.”

“I know you’re okay, Maddie. You’re one of the strongest women I know.” He chuckles.

“I don’t know if I’m strong.” I look away from him.

He takes hold of my chin and turns me to face him. “You’re strong, Maddie. Look how much you’ve overcome.”

“I could say the same about you,” I say to him. “Look how far you’ve come. You’ve beat the odds. You became a professional NHL player and proved your dad wrong.”

His lip quivers when I say the last thing and I don’t know if I’ve crossed the line.

“I had to prove him wrong to prove to myself that I was more than he said I was,” Kaleb replies, and my heart cracks.

“You’re a good man, Kaleb Bardot. Way better than he ever was,” I say to him.

“I’m still messed up, Maddie,” he says but he doesn’t elaborate. My guess is he means with relationships.

“I am too, Kaleb. You don’t see me running from you.”

“I don’t see you running,” he repeats.

He leans down and then we are kissing again and, somehow, we end up in the shower having sex. Under the water stream we wash each other, and then Kaleb gets into bed with me. He holds me in his arms and fractured parts of me feel like they are healing. I fall asleep with a sense of contentment, but when I wake in the morning he’s gone, as he should be, because this is all temporary.

CHAPTER

TWENTY-TWO

Kaleb

After spending the entire day Sunday chilling at home with Maddie and Asher, I am out on my Monday morning run. The city is busy but I’m drowning in thoughts because spending that much time with Maddie has made me realize I have real feelings for her. Spending time with her and Asher made me happy. It felt like I belonged with them, and that thought is scary because I never saw myself settling down. She and I would never work. This thing between us is ending so I don’t even know why I’m dwelling on it, other than she’s gotten under my skin in the best way possible, and I’ve never felt this way before. My mind seems to be on a loop of me feeling all lovey-dovey and me convincing myself my feelings are insane. I make it back to my place and I take a shower. In the shower I’m thinking of her naked body and I grow hard and needy, which is crazy after all the sex we had this weekend. What is even crazier is that my friends know I had sex with Brett’s sister on that Ferris wheel.

I get out of the shower and I’m towel drying when I get a call from Connor.

“Hey, bro,” I say, answering the phone.

“Hi,” he replies. “We should meet. You up for grabbing some lunch?”

“Yeah, I could do lunch,” I agree.

“Cool. You up for something healthy or junk?” he asks.

“Healthy after all those carbs we ate at Coney Island.” I laugh.

“’Kay, then I’ll meet you downstairs in ten?” he asks.

“Sure, I can drive,” I offer.

“Peace,” he replies, and we end the call.

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