Page 46 of Dirty Dancer

Rescues. I hated that term and at the same time, it fit.

“I don’t always say anything, I just sit in and I listen. I listen to their stories and… they resonate, you know?” Hands on his hips, he ceased his pacing and stared at the toes of his shoes. “When you came to me about the boys in your dance class a few weeks back, I made the time to talk to them. What I didn’t tell you was that it scared the shit out of me to do it.”

I opened my mouth, but Freddie held up a hand.

“Let me finish and whatever you do, don’t blame yourself. I wanted to help you. I wanted to help them. But, I mean look at me, some days it feels like I can barely help myself. How was I supposed to help them?”

It took everything I had to not respond and to let him tell me in his own way. That was how it worked with us, we let each other slide on little things, but never the big ones.

Never when we needed to be heard.

“Thank you,” he said in an almost hushed whisper. Steeling himself with a deep breath, he focused on me. “You asking me for help was a big step to me. Mewantingto help was another big step. At the end of the day, when I was standing in front of those guys, all I could do was talk to them the way I wished someone had spoken to me. Only…”

My nerves were stretched taut, but I bit down on the inside of my lip and said nothing.

“Only the words wouldn’t come. Then I remembered Ms. Stephanie and how she would just sit down next to me and be there. She’d ask, but she didn’t push. If I didn’t want to talk, she’d say that was okay, she could just hang out with me.”

Tears burned behind my eyes at the depth of emotion in his voice. The longing and the affection.

“She used to make me crazy. Why wouldn’t she just go away? But she never gave up on me. Jasper was the same, but you know how Jasper is. He’s aggressive in looking after you.”

We shared a smile. He wasn’t wrong. Jasper could be very aggressive in his need to protect us. “We love him for it.”

“Yes,” Freddie said with a nod. “We do. But Ms. Stephanie was different. She never gave up, but she never crowded me. She neverforcedanything from me. If I confided in her, it was always my choice and until that moment, standing in front of those kids, I hadn’t realized it. I hadn’tunderstoodhow much power she gave back to me every single time.”

Or how much it meant to him. I swallowed around the lump of emotion in my throat.

“So, I leaned on Ms. Stephanie and I listened with my head and my heart, just like she did. I asked the kids, neither were really ready to talk. So I just hung out, I was just there. It took them some time to trust me, and you know, that was okay. I played basketball with them at the court down the street. It wasn’t a fast process, but they came around and then they told me what was happening. They told me so I could help.”

The wonder trickled back into Freddie’s voice.

“Me, Boo-Boo. But more importantly,them.It took me so long to really hear what Ms. Stephanie had been telling me forever, but I heard her and I was able to do that for them.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face, as if suddenly becoming aware of the tears on his cheeks.

“I know you’re planning to go back on the road. I said I would go, but I don’t think I can be there full time, not this time.”

“Okay,” I said, accepting that immediately. If Freddie needed anything…

“What I mean is, I’m going to enroll in school. There’s a social work program offered at the state university. I want to help kids. I want to do for them what Ms. Stephanie did for me. I want… Sobriety is always going to be a lifelong fight, but I can do that and I can help others too.”

I pushed the chair back and circled the desk as he tracked my movements.

“I still want to be there with you too, but classes might take up a lot of time.”

“Please say I can hug you,” I said as I closed the distance. He answered by opening his arms and I practically threw myself at him.

“Is that okay with you?” The question came out in a hushed whisper. “I know I said I would always be there, but I want to do this too.”

“Freddie,” I said, pulling back only far enough to meet his gaze and I didn’t try to slow my own tears. “It’s more than okay. If you want it, then I want it for you. I want to support you, and if that means classes, or study buddies, or nude pics to encourage you when I’m out of town—you got it.”

“Boo-Boo, I love you,” he said, then canted his head to the side. “Nude pics for only when you’re out of town?”

I burst out laughing. “Maybe you get something special for starting a new challenge.”

“Oh, I like incentives,” he said, then lowered me to my feet. “I haven’t told the guys yet.”

My heart fisted.

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