Page 20 of Dirty Dancer

“Ugh,” he grumbled. “No, they really didn’t keep it away but they could numb me, you know? Sometimes, it’s just better to not feel at all, but if I don’t feel, I miss out on stuff with you Boo-Boo and stuff with the guys. Now, I’m all up in my head and I’ve been jonesing all goddamn day.”

Anger surged through his expression as he rose.

“Fuck, I wasn’t going to dump this on you.”

“Excuse me,” I said, pointing a finger at him. “I’myourBoo-Boo and you’remyFreddie. There is nodumping. If you need me, then I’m here. If you want me, then I’m here. You listen to me, I listen to you. I can take a lot of things you say, Freddie, I will never not hear you. But you can stuff the dumping comments up your butt where the shit belongs.”

He blinked, surprise rippled through the anger and the worry. Like lightning dancing in a storm, his lips quivered with suppressed laughter. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re scary when you’re bossy?”

“Not that I’ve heard,” I said, head tilting. “Though Liam does call me Hellspawn.” I’d earned that name after I punched him in the nose for calling meprincess.

“True,” Freddie agreed, then a real laugh escaped him. It was quiet, a little ragged around the edges and dipped in tears, but it was a laugh. Bit by bit, the sound escalated and then he openedhis arms. I flew across the room and wrapped around him even as he lifted me.

He buried his face against my throat and I stroked my fingers through his hair. The dampness against my skin warned me of his tears, but I wasn’t going to melt.

“I’m always here for you,” I promised. “Always.”

“I don’t want to fall,” he whispered.

“I know,” I answered in the same soft tone. “I know you don’t. If you need to, hold onto me. Hold onto Rome. The guys. None of us will let you fall, Freddie.”

We couldn’tfixit for him. We couldn’t erase the addiction or the reason he’d descended into it in the first place. But as long as he was willing to reach out, we would always catch him.

Frankly, even if he wasn’t, still wasn’t going to abandon him.

A brisk knock hit the door. “Five minutes!” The techs were summoning us. The new opening number required me to be up there with them. It was a surprise for the guys too.

Freddie let out a wet laugh. “You need to go.”

“No, I need to be right here,” I told him. “They can do the number without me.”

“Absolutely not,” he said, pulling back to look at me. With careful fingers, I swiped away the tears on his cheeks. “You’ve been working on this all week,Iwant to see how great you look.”

I searched his blue eyes, then brushed a kiss to his jaw. I didn’t quite make the contact because he was already pushing himself so much. I also didn’t want to leave a lipstick smear on his chin.

“I promise,” he continued in a sobering tone. “I’m not going to slip off and get high. I’ll be right there on the side of the stage. I want a front row seat.”

“I’m not worried about that.” I really wasn’t, though his surprise made my heart ache. “I never want chasing my dreams to hurt you.”

“They don’t hurt me,” he told me. “Bottling this shit up? That hurts. I know better and I know I can tell you anything.” He pressed a finger to my lips. “I promise you,I knowI can tell you anything. Doesn’t always make it easier.”

“That’s the truth.” I kissed his fingertip as he cut his gaze to the clock on the wall.

“Three minutes, Boo-Boo. Let’s go wow the world with this new routine.”

“I want pizza tonight,” I said as I let go and retreated a couple of steps. Freddie was asking for normalcy. I couldn’t possibly tell him no.

“Done. I’ll tell Rome so we can grab it on the way back to the hotel.” He already had his phone in his hands as he fired off a text. I gave him the time to get his walls back up.

One more glance in the mirror and then down at my outfit. I snagged the suit jacket that went over it and picked up the bowler hat.

At two minutes, Freddie and I were striding up the hallway to the stage. The other dancers moved ahead. The curtains were down, the hum of the audience invaded the backstage.

The air was electric as Freddie squeezed my hand once before I stepped away from him and out to the stage. With the curtains down and the lights low, I took my mark from memory.

The other dancers set up around me. The hush of anticipation threaded through us.

“Sixty seconds,” came the whisper from stage right as a tech began the countdown. The lights were darkening everywhere. Even beyond the curtain.

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