Page 21 of Remember Me

Remi huffed out a breath. “Well, obviously.Whatare you sorting through?”

I raked my fingers into my hair. “Gah. So much. I hate not knowing. I hate this uncertainty. Why the hell did I choose to go into marketing, of all the career possibilities? There’s nothing about finding ways to sell stuff that calls to me. Hayes. If we were so perfect, why is there this part of me that doesn’t trust him? Here I am, in a position where I pretty much have to trust my instincts and nothing else. No offense, but the people around me could be telling me — or not telling me — absolutely anything. My instincts are saying be cautious with this one.”

Remi was silent. I liked that she didn’t jump right into speech. Despite the firecracker vibe I was getting, she was a thinker. Careful. She chewed the side of her cuticle as she considered, and finally spoke. “I get it. And I think you’re right…you need to trust your instincts. Maybe there’s something about Hayes that you never told me, so your psyche is making it plain that you need to hold him at arm’s length. Maybe it’s just your prickly self, trying to win the battle against falling in love with him all over again. You know…you lost that battle the first go-round, so this is your opportunity to win.”

“But actually lose, all at the same time, if I was really in love with him.” I interjected. I shoved my fingers into my hair. This was so confusing!

“Very likely. But that’s up to you, and what you want. Think of like this, however uncomfortable it may be. You have been given something not many people are: a chance at a do over. So, take your time, explore all of the options available to you, and screw anyone who tries to rush you.”

“I think that’s exactly what I need to do,” I murmur. “Thanks, Ro.”

“Anytime, chica.”

“It’s ok you know,

To be carried now and then,

Strength too needs a rest”

Tyler Knott Gregson

November 22¦Birdie

ILAY IN BED THE NEXT NIGHT, FLIPPING THROUGH THE TWO MONTH SECTION OF A BOOK ABOUT WHAT TO EXPECT DURING PREGNANCY.

You’re probably still not showing. You might feel bloated, though, and those pants are likely starting to feel a bit snug. Time to break out the yoga pants! You’ll also be experiencing mood swings and want to sleep around the clock. Sneak in a few naps whenever possible.

Other fun things you may be experiencing include constipation, morning sickness — which can hit any time of the day, trust us — and aversions to foods you normally love.

Embrace the suck! In our experience, this too shall pass.

I snorted and tossed the book on the floor before climbing out of the bed and moving to the bookcase. Embrace the suck, indeed. I was tired of feeling sick. I was tired of feeling tired, although I couldn’t sleep to save my soul at the moment. I was wide awake, my mind continually drifting back to Hayes and our discussion several days ago.

I felt guilty, and it was pissing me off. Post-accident Birdie Grant had promised Hayes Ellison exactly nothing. Maybe ante-amnesia Birdie had made promises, but I didn’t remember that chick, and if I didn’t want to be bound by her decisions, then I shouldn’t have to be. Right?

I pulled several books from my bookcase and tossed them on the bed before climbing back in and studying them. They were worn and clearly well-read, the covers thin with age and use and the pages dog-eared.Guess I was one of those, I thought, fingering the corner of one page. I’d read, aka stalked, a humorous Reddit thread on people that used bookmarks versus those who did not. Most of the commenters did not think very highly of people that dog-eared, folded, or splayed their books open when they paused their reading.

These were books I loved.Pride and Prejudice.Anne of Green Gables. An entire shelf of Nora Roberts. An assortment of marketing textbooks, complete with neon sticky placeholders and highlighting throughout.The Stand, which looked like horror and stood out amongst the others with flagrant disregard to genre.The Kite Runner.Love in the Time of Cholera.

My choices should tell me something about myself, right? I liked romance, clearly, but my taste was more eclectic than I would have imagined a marketing major would display. I was a reader, and not just of fluff or dry business books.

But was I, still? Couldn’t I read and enjoy other books now…books that previous me had not had the faintest interest in before? Did I owe these books anything?

My phone buzzed with an incoming text and I rolled over to pick it up from the nightstand.Attractive Guy from Smokey’s.

A smile tugged at my lips at how he had saved himself in my contacts and I opened the text.Levi.

Attractive Guy from Smokey’s: Just wanted to check and make sure you got home all right. And that yourfiancé wasn’t too upset

Me:Yes. Thank you. And he’s fine

Attractive Guy from Smokey’s: Could have fooled me

Me: He was just worried.

Attractive Guy from Smokey’s: worried some other dude might be macking on you, looked like

Me: well, yeah. I mean, I don’t remember him. He’s worried I might decide to —

---