Page 91 of It's Mother-Pucking Christmas!

“We didn’t. Timmy and Dakota’s inheritance boughtRydera house.” Dakota’s dad sniffed, herding me and Dakota up the steps.

“You already gave me a shit ton of coal for Christmas and now you took my inheritance?” Dakota complained.

“How else are you going to host the after-hockey cookout?” her aunts crowed.

“Oh my god!” Dakota looked around the massive porch.

Her little cousins piled on the porch swing.

“We can see Aunt Babs’s house.”

“Yeah, never mind, I don’t want a house,” her sister said. “Not if it’s right across the street from Mom and Dad.”

“Can I get Dakota’s room?” Nico asked.

“There’s lots of bedrooms, so you can host relatives for holidays, birthdays, and family parties,” Babs trilled.

“And if you get tired of having houseguests,” Granny Murray piped up, “you can always turn the rooms into nurseries.”

“That’s a sneaky way to fill a house up with grandchildren.”

“Go inside, go inside!”

“Wait.” I grabbed Dakota before she could reach for the door. “We have to do it right.”

She laughed as I picked her up in my arms and kissed her as I carried her across the threshold.

“Welcome home.” She kissed me again. “I love you more than anything, Ryder. You’re my perfect Christmas present.”

“I love you,” I whispered. “I love you so much. I can’t wait to build our life together.”

“Isn’t this the Marshalls’ old house?” Timmy asked as her family streamed in. “I think Teddy used to hide his porn stash in the bathroom. Let’s go check if it’s there, uh…”

“Who’s buying porn in this day and age?” Granny Murray snorted as Dakota’s family—my family—all piled into our new home.

“We will, of course,” Maria said to me, “be house-sitting for you while you two are living it up in Manhattan.”

“A house across the street from my parents.” Dakota sighed.

I kissed her.

“It’s easy babysitting.”

“Did you hear that?” Dakota’s mom shrieked, setting off Dasher. “Grandbabies! Everyone get out so they can start right now!”

Dakota rolled her eyes and tugged me into the spacious home. The house was beautiful, with lots of hand-carved wood and big windows.

“This room is great for a nursery,” an aunt said, surprising us when we stepped into one light-filled room.

“Marriage first, please,” Dakota’s dad called up the stairs.

“Yessir.”

“Don’t listen to him!” Babs told me. “If you want to knock up my daughter, you go right ahead. I already had three kids when I was her age. No pressure, sweetie!”

“I believe in marriage first,” I said firmly.

“Of course you do,” Granny Murray said, patting my arm.

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