Page 81 of I Won't Be In On Monday

"I found out my dad has a girlfriend today, okay."

"Oh," I say, not really knowing what to say.

"I'm not jealous or anything. I don't care that my dad has a girlfriend. It's just weird to me. He's never been in a relationship since he my mom, and now, suddenly he is with someone. I guess I just never expected it.”

"I see. Are you sad that he's found someone and that..."

"I don't know how to feel, I guess. All my life, I was my dad’s number one focus, and I guess I took it for granted. I may have even resented it, but now, he’s dating, and it just feels weird. I know I'm being a selfish daughter. I should be happy for him. Iamhappy for him. It's just, everything in my life is changing, and I don't know how to think or how to feel anymore."

"What do you mean, everything in your life is changing? Is this about us? About what we did and didn't do?"

"No. I mean today, I made some changes, and while I love them, I don't know how to feel about them. I just feel different, and it's weird feeling different, you know? I guess it's kind of like if you're really overweight and you lose a lot of weight, you just don't recognize your own reflection. Maybe that's how I feel. I just don't know who I am anymore."

"Why don't you know who you are?"

"I don't know," she says. "Maybe the evolution of life and changes."

"I get that. I had a weird dream tonight and woke up. It made me feel oddly discombobulated, and it made me question if I know who I am right now, as well," I admit.

"What was your dream about?" she asks me innocently.

"Just me being on a beach."

"Oh, okay. And you don't like beaches?"

"No, it's not that. It's just that the circumstances were quite foreign and different, and the dream felt real. I felt really happy, and I woke up and… Anyway, it's just something that happens, I suppose."

"Was it a nightmare that you had?"

"You know, it wasn't," I say softly. "It really wasn't."

"I don't really know what your dream was, but if it's something that you want in life that you don't have and didn't think you wanted, but now you think you might, just go for it."

"You think?" I ask her. "Or are you just saying that because..."

"I mean, if you really want to go on a vacation and go to a beach, just do it, Remington. The office can do without you for a week or ten days or however long you want to go. Enjoy your life. You've got more than enough money. I don't know the last time you went anywhere."

"Go on vacation," I repeat dumbfoundedly. "What?"

"You said you dreamt you were on a beach, right? And you were really enjoying it and..."

"Yeah, I did. I mean, you're right. I should go on vacation." I feel stupid for thinking that she knew what I was talking about. I feel stupid for thinking that she could read between the lines. "I'm sorry that I called you so late."

"It's okay," she says. "I guess maybe this is our thing."

"What?"

"Speaking on the phone late at night?"

"Yeah."

"Don't get into the habit, though, because if Marco and I hit it off, he's not going to appreciate you calling me at all hours of the night.”

“You’re not seriously thinking this could go somewhere, are you?” I ask her, feeling annoyed.

"I don't know," she says. "Maybe. I am looking for a relationship and love. So, yeah, I think I've spent so much of my life living in the shadows and not really doing what I want to do that now, I regret it. I don't want to wake up and be sixty years old and have never had a love story, you know?"

"I don't think that would happen to you," I say softly. "What's so great about a love story anyway?”

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