Page 29 of I Won't Be In On Monday

"No, what?" I say, picturing her slim face and big glasses. I wonder what she’s wearing. I’m going to ignore the fact that she’s calling me a frenemy, though the comment annoys me.

"Well, you know, I'm a nice person," she says quickly. She hiccups again.

“Are you drunk, Juniper? Where are you?”

“I had drinks with the girls. I just got back to my apartment, and I’m about to shower and go to bed.”

“Shower, huh?” I say in my teasing voice, and the other end of the line is silent. "I'm just joking, Juniper. No need to panic. I'm not asking you to turn on the video and show me that you’reshowering or anything like that." She gasps. "Sorry, I didn't even mean to bring that up.”

“It's fine. I know you're not asking me that, Mr. Parker."

"Don't call me Mr. Parker again."

"It's... I know," she says, cutting me off. "It's Remington, but I call you Mr. Parker in the office, so I don't think I should start calling you Remington now. I want to be professional at all times."

"You are always professional, Juniper," I say and lean back against my headboard. "So, tell me about your evening. What did you do? Did you meet any guys?"

She lets out a little giggle.“There was one guy that was kind of flirting with me, and I think he wanted me to go back to his place.”

“Sorry, what?” I sit up and frown. “What guy?”

“No one you know. I mean, I didn't even know him. I'm just saying.”

“You weren't by yourself, right? When this guy was hitting on you?”

“No, I wasn't by myself.”

“This guy came up to you?”

“He came up to the table and asked if he could buy us a drink, and I said, ‘No, thank you. We have drinks.’ And then he said that he thought I looked very pretty.” She pauses. “I mean, I don't think I looked?—”

"You looked fine, I’m sure," I say, cutting her off.

"Well, anyway, he wanted to congratulate me on my poem."

"Your poem?" I frown. "What poem?"

"Oh, I didn't tell you. We went to a poetry slam. Me, Lila, and Skye. And we all got up and created these poems, but mine absolutely sucked. So, when he said mine was great, I knew he just wanted to get me into bed.” She giggles, and the soundmakes me smile. There’s a purity and sincerity in her giggles. “I mean, it was nice of him to lie, though.”

“I didn't know you were into poetry. I thought you just wrote books.” Not that I was an expert on her likes and dislikes. Not that I wanted to be either.

“I do. It was just something the girls and I decided to do for fun, you know?”

“No, I don't know.” For some reason, I’m feeling grumpy hearing about Juniper flirting with some random man.

“Anyway, you didn't call me to hear about my poetry slam. How did it go with Canyon?”

“Kids are alien to me," I say honestly. "My own kid is an alien to me. That’s how it went.” I wonder if she thinks I’m a jerk for admitting that. Am I an even worse father for comparing my kid to an alien? Will I ever be a good dad? Somehow, the thought depresses me. I’m used to being good at everything. I analyze situations and move forward with the best strategy possible. I am a king at negotiation. A prince at sales. A duke at charming and finagling. None of those skills are helpful with Canyon, though. The fact doen’t make me happy.

"Oh, boy. Is everything okay?"

“If I'm being honest, not really. I've got this young person in my care, and I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even have anything to make her for breakfast in the morning.”

“You don't have bacon and eggs?”

“I mean, I might have some eggs, but I don't have pancakes, and I don't know how to make Mickey Mouse-shaped waffles.”

“You don't have to do all that to be a good dad, Remy. Trust me,” she says softly. “I'm sure you'll be fine.”

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