Page 1 of I Won't Be In On Monday

Chapter One

Juniper

Dear Mr. Parker,

I would like to inform you that I am your assistant and not your servant, maid, wanna-be girlfriend...

I stare at the bright screen and press delete rapidly. That is not the way I want to start this email. I think for a few moments while staring at the stack of packed manila files on my desk. There must have been over a hundred files with color-coded stickers on the various pages, beckoning for me to go through them.

There’s also a half cup of black coffee in myBest Daughter Evermug, which I made without milk or sugar because I’m a masochist. Well, not in a kinky way. I’m just trying to be health-conscious so that I can lose twenty-five pounds and have glowing skin. However, I hate black coffee, so most of the beverage is still in the cup, cold and stale, and as such, I’m extremely tired. And when I’m tired, I’m irritated.

My fingers hover over the keyboard, and I start typing again.

Dear Mr. Parker,

I would like to inform you of the job duties on the official paperwork I signed in the HR office when I accepted theposition as your legal assistant. Just in case you aren’t aware, those duties don’t include arranging your dates, picking up your dry-cleaning, being your…

I pause as I reread what I’ve written. I’m not sure whether my email comes off as passive-aggressive or if I should even care. I need to be blunt with Remington Parker. The man is insufferable, and I’m not going to let him treat me like a doormat just because he’s my boss.

I can feel myself fuming inside as I think about the list of chores he’s given me in the last few weeks. The fact that I haven’t said anything to him is on me, but I’m no longer going to just nod my head dutifully, like some perfect little housemaid or Stepford wife.

I picture Remington’s face as he reads my email. His brown eyes will crinkle in humor because I know he won’t take me seriously. Then he’ll run his long, tan fingers through his dark, silky hair and chuckle his deep, guttural roar that I would recognize in the dark.

Remington Parker is my boss, the man I love to hate, the man I love to dream about, but he is also the man who inspires characters in the books I write late at night. You'd think Remington inspired the hero of my story because he is one of the best-looking men I've ever seen in my life. But unfortunately for him, he's also one of the most infuriating, obnoxious, arrogant pricks I've ever met. And as such, he is a villain in my latest story. The anti-hero to end all anti-heroes.

Not that he would care that I’d made him a villain more hateful than Voldemort in my latest romantasy book. I wouldn’t tell him, though. It’s not like he asks me about my life outside of work. God forbid he ask if I have any interests other than doing whatever he wants whenever he wants.

It’s obvious to me that he only sees me as some sort of wallflower, there to do his bidding. To him, I’m a robot. I doubthe’s even noticed that I'm a woman. I am just Juniper Hardman, his legal assistant, the invisible pixie making magic happen.I felt that my job had somehow become more personal assistant than anything else though.

"Juniper, did you send out the roses yet?" The man himself stops by my desk, and I look up quickly, my face going red as I slam the computer screen down. I nod slightly at his question.

Say something, Juniper. Tell him to order his own roses.

Order your own roses, asshole.

“I believe so,” I mumble, and the inner warrior in me screams. Sometimes I hate having an avoidant personality.

His dark eyes stare down at me, and there's a smile on his face as if he is happy to see me, but I know he gives that smile to everyone he comes into contact with. It's the Remington “I'm too cool for school” Parker smile. It makes you feel like a million dollars, when really, you’re just another link in a never-ending chain.

The thing about Remington is that he’s engaging, witty, and charismatic, and if you didn't know him well enough, you'd think he really cared about you. But the only person Remy really cares about is himself.

"I placed orders for all three of your..." I pause and attempt not to roll my eyes. "Women friends." I nod as he grins. "A dozen roses will be sent to each one of them. Was there anything else you needed me to do before I leave for the day?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you could see about getting me a reservation for dinner at La Beautiful on Third Avenue next Wednesday evening around 7:00 p.m."

"La Beautiful is one of the most popular restaurants in the city," I say. "It's very unlikely that they have any open reservations for the next few months."

"Ah, but I'm sure you can use your magic and get me a reservation, Juniper." His eyes sparkle, and I wonder how his parents ever said no to him. He’s got such a cute face.

“I don’t have any magic, sir, and I’m not really sure how you expect me to...”

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but Penelope Ridiculo is in town.” He pauses as if waiting for me to gawk in admiration. I stare at him blankly, and he frowns. "You do know Penelope Ridiculo, right?"

"I'm sorry, I don't."Her name sounds ridiculous, though, I think to myself and hold in a snort.

“She’s the Italian actress that took Hollywood by storm last year,” he says, by way of explanation. “She was in that movie,Night Transportation,with—what's his name? Benji Flames."

"I cannot say that I've heard of it or seen it." I shrug. I know Benji Flames and vaguely remember he’s been in a movie with some beautiful actress who had been Miss Universe the year before, but I’m not going to tell Remington I remember that.

---