Page 96 of Audiophile

I’m too agitated to think about it. “I don’t know. By this point in my relationship with Nate, I was pregnant. I didn’t get a chance to know whether I wanted to be with him.” When I glance up, Tommy’s face is bone white. The truth comes rushing out. “I knew him all of ten minutes and slept with him at a frat party, Tommy! We hadn’t even been on a date. We kept hooking up at parties, and then I got pregnant! ‘Good Girl Petra.’ Ugh. How could I tell Mama and Papa the truth?”

Tommy’s face shifts slowly to toad green. “So you let us all assume you were in love? That you were happy to have a baby?”

“Iwashappy. I wanted her. I hoped Nate and I could make it work.” I swallow my pride. “But…no. I wouldn’t have been with him had Natalia not been part of the equation.”

Tommy swears and reaches for my hand. “Troni. I’m sorry you thought you had to keep that from me.”

I shrug, but his words soothe a deep wound. “You were a teenager. You couldn’t have done anything, anyway. It’s okay.”

“I’m not a teenager now,” he declares. “What do you want to do, Petra?”

I don’t answer Tommy, but dial Reed on speakerphone. It only rings twice before Kinley answers. “If he wanted to talk, he would. Stop calling.”

“Never. You think you love him, Kinley, but you don’t know him, or understand him. If you have to resort to this to get his attention, that’s not love. Please, let me talk to him.”

“Youdon’t know him,” she growls. “Did you know that he records with all his conquests? Your little scene was the perfect addition to our collection.”

All the blood drains from my face. I take her off speakerphone, and her voice grates in my ear.

“Didn’t think he’d share, Pet?” she taunts. “You’re a terriblelie detector.” Her words are daggers that slice into my skin.

Reed and I were vulnerable with each other. It was supposed to be just for us. If he hadn’t meant it, my heart would break. And if she’d stolen it from us, I’d crumple into a ball and never emerge. Either way, my night with Reed is tainted, and shame sits, hot and sour, in my belly. The burn of tears creeps up my throat. I can’t get words out without crying, so I hold them in.

“Now you know,” Kinley declares, triumphant, and the line disconnects.

“Troni,” Tommy says, but I avoid his eyes. I wait for his scolding. For his judgment and condescension. But Tommy pulls me into his arms and strokes my hair while the storm inside of me comes flooding out, soaking his shirt with my tears.

It’s a while before I pull myself together.

“Got it all out?” Tommy asks. When I nod, he squeezes me tight. “Good, because I’m gonna kill whichever one of them is the bigger asshole in this equation, and I’ll need you to lie for me.”

“Tommy!” I reprimand, but half of me is happy to climb aboard his boat. Pain turns to scorn and anger in my chest until I’m boiling from it. If Kinley was here, I wouldn’t need Tommy to step in; I’d kick her ass myself.

“Don’t worry, between you and Darin I should be fine,” Tommy insists.

“You’re not going to berate me for—? You know.” Tommy must assume the worst. I wince, hating that I have to say it at all. “There’s no video—only audio.”

Tommy sighs, scrubbing his face. “I didn’t want to know that, but at least it’s better. I was trying to figure out how to search all the sites to see if I need to take it down, without actuallyseeinganything.”

My heart squeezes. Tommy might be an immature asshole sometimes, but he’s also a great person. A great brother. “I love you, you know?”

Tommy squeezes my shoulder, a hard smile pulling at one side of his mouth. “I love you, too. I’d do anything for you.”

“I know. But let’s not put ‘go to prison’ on that list, okay? I don’t—” I don’t believe that Reed would do that to me. It doesn’t sit right.

“Let’s go to Livi’s.” Tommy says, grabbing my coat from the hall. “She’ll know what to do better than me.”

“You’re doing a great job,” I say, squeezing his arm. “You don’t need Livi to rescue you.”

“Maybe not, but nothing resuscitates you more than holding Hailey does.” My EMT. He can’t hit me with a physical defibrillator, so he’s bringing me to an emotional one.

It works. I break down as soon as Livi opens the door. Tommy must’ve texted her, because she thrusts Hailey into my arms and settles us on the couch, rubbing my back. Tommy helps her catch up on all the things I kept to myself.

“No wonderhe snorted at Tommy’s asexual comment. I was cheated out of that twenty.”

“Stop betting on me,” I protest. She rolls her eyes, but by the time we get to my phone call with Kinley, she bristles as if she wants to call Darin or hunt down Kinley herself.

“I want to watch a movie,” Antonio interrupts with a pouty frown. “With popcorn. Please?”

---