“I’d love illustrations,” I say. “But I don’t know that anything will come of this.”
“Are you kidding?” Livi asks. She’s got the book in her hands again, flipping avidly through the chapters. “You have to publish!”
“Nothing about this to the parents yet, okay? It’s a lot in one night.”
They all agree, and it’s Silla’s laugh in my ear that makes it all perfect. “Keeping secrets like we’re kids again. Did we fool Ma with the missing marshmallows?”
“Not in a million years, Silly.” Silla and I share a grin identical to when we were middle schoolers. When we join the others fordinner, we’re the band of thieves we were twenty years ago, except now Livi and Tommy are on our team.
“Hey, Liv,” I ask, as we head to the kitchen. “Would you go to Rosary with me sometime? I can’t handle Mama and Carla on my own.”
Livi quickly masks her surprise with a smile and a squeeze on my arm. “Absolutely. Whenever you’re ready. And when you’re ready to share your story, Mama will love it. You know she andZiaattend every Rosary for Natalia, right?” I suck down a gasp, but there is no lie in Livi’s eyes.
Mama and I were never close, but I should’ve known.
Everyone finds a seat but me. I quietly refill Mama’s glass of wine, kissing her cheek as I set it beside her plate. She squeezes my hand, and I squeeze back. Though we say nothing, it’s more than enough.
The next morning,Sillaand I creep down the stairs to surprise Mama and Papa with breakfast.
“Tell me about Reed,” Silla says as she cracks eggs over a large bowl. “How far off is Livi?”
“Far, but not outer space far. I like him, Silly. He’s funny, kind, mischievous, a little dirty.” My mouth quirks up at that. “Alotdirty. You’d get a kick out of him.”
Silla pushes my arm, laughing. “Petra! Even in your wild years, you were always quiet about sex. Did he pull you out of your shell? Is he amazing in bed?”
“He…Okay, no judgment? He’s an erotic voice actor. When I met Reed, his voice was so sexy, and I’d just been listening to one of his scenes so—”
Silla’s jaw is on the floor. “Youlisten to naughty stories. You went out with a naughty storyteller.You.Petronia.”
“No judgment, remember?”
“Oh, I’m not judging! My friend Giselle is a cam girl—you do you. Butyou,Good Girl Petra, don’t do that.” She barks out a laugh. “Apparently youdo!Get it, girl!”
I grin and smack her shoulder. “Shut up. Anyway, I didn’t hide it well. He assumed I recognized him and then we spent time together. I got to know him, and it got messy. Not externally, but internally. I do miss him.”
Silla frowns. “He’s an asshole if he made you think you had something together and then he ditched.”
“He texted me the other day, but I didn’t respond.” I wanted to. So bad. My fingers locked up around my phone when I deleted my text to him, begging me to reconsider.
“What?” Silla’s brown eyes are round in her face. “You like him, he likes you, he wants to continue talking and you don’t call? Have I taught you nothing?”
I roll my eyes at her, but my heart picks up speed, jumping on Silla’s train. “It wouldn’t work, anyway. He doesn’t know if he’s moving to San Diego or Iowa or who knows where. Long distance always fails.”
Silla grabs my shoulders. “Troni, planes exist for a reason. You’re not paying rent, you don’t go out, you’re obviously not spending your money on clothes—can I please take you shopping? You’re squirreling your money away. Use it to see him, or use it to move wherever you want. Make it happen. Whether it works with Reed or not, you’ll be where you want to be.”
“It’s expensive.”
Silla raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re defensive.”
“Okay, Reed,” I mock.
“Oh, he saw you under all the layers. No wonder you’re running.” Silla nods, determination pulling over her features. “Call him this afternoon, or I’m doing it for you.”
I bite my lip in hesitation, but I miss him like crazy. “I have to work.”
“Call. Him.”
“I’ll consider it.” Silla narrows her eyes, but lets me go so I can pour the eggs into a hot pan. I love having her here. I didn’t realize that the distance between us was brutal until I got her back. “Sill, what if I moved to Seattle?”