Page 83 of Audiophile

“This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook for the silent treatment,” Livi warns. Even with Hailey on her hip, she’s freakishly strong as she drags Silla and me into the living room. She shoos everyone else out, but Tommy lingers. “Girl time! Go away.”

“Let him in, Liv,” I say, taking the baby. “He’s as much of a gossip as you.”

Livi huffs, but lets it go. “What happened with Reed?”

“He was visiting, he went home. End of story.”

“Hey, I want auntie time,” Silla says, stealing Hailey. “I missed it all. Livi says Reed was head over heels for you. How long was he here?”

“A week,” I snorted. “Livi’s fantasizing. You can’t fall in love with someone that fast.”

Silla shrugs, eyes on Hailey. “I was in love with Josie by the end of our first date. I mean, I didn’tsayit that fast, but I knew.”

“Reed went back to his life. I’m back to mine. It’s all good. No heartbreak,” I pin Livi with a glare, “and no life-changing revelations.”

I pause, considering that, and Livi spots it. “Liar,” she says.

She’s right. I need to let them in. “Gimme a sec.”

“That’s fine,” Silla coos as I stand up. “Just gonna wait here with the cutest baby in the whole world!”

I can hear Tommy’s dry tone as I walk down the hall. “Have you told Josie you’re desperate for a baby?”

“I’m notdesperate,” Silla retorts. “We’re fine without. I’m getting my baby fix now. What about you, dating multiple girls?”

“Hey, I’m down to one,” he protests. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one with issues.

I collect my manuscript with trepidation. There will be no going back from this, no pretending that this part of me has faded. I sink into the sofa next to Silla, but her hands are full, whereas Tommy is perched on the coffee table right in front of me. I pass it to him first.

“What is it?” Livi asks, but I don’t answer. I play with Hailey’s hand so I don’t have to watch Tommy’s reactions while he reads the first few pages.

“You wrote this?” Tommy asks. His face is filled with a wonder I’ve only seen a few times—once when the twins were born. “You don’t talk about her at all. I never thought—”

“What is happening?” Livi snatches the book from him. Her eager gaze melts into one of heartbreak, and I have to turn away. I don’t need Livi’s high emotions clawing their way into my chest and becoming my own.

What I’m not prepared for is Tommy leaning forward to take my hand. “Troni.” It reminds me of the last time we were vulnerable with each other. When he couldn’t save a woman and worried I’d end up the same. “Why didn’t you tell me it wasn’t about Nate?”

I squeeze Tommy’s hand and he squeezes right back. “It was, a little.”

“You’re going to keep writing, yeah? Publish it?” he asks. Livi trades Silla, a baby for a manuscript, and tears course down Livi’s face as she tucks Hailey in close. Livi, who struggled carrying twins, knows the fear of losing them.

“I started writing it a long time ago. This is one through four. Of twenty-two.”

“Twenty-two?” Tommy’s eyebrows sit high. “You’ve been sitting on this for atwenty-twobook span?”

I nod. Silla tucks the pages between us as she pulls me into her chest. Livi drops into the cushions on my other side, Tommy leans in, and then it’s a big ball of us. All the Diamante kids, constantly divided, now congealed around each other more firmly than a clump of cold noodles.

I didn’t need Reed to see me, or fill the void in my life. I needed this. My siblings and their unending love and support.

We sit in the quiet for a minute, but then everyone’s got something to say. “I’m proud of you,” Tommy starts. “But here me out: Natalia’s fox friend should be named after me.”

“Lilly’s going to want to read them all,” Livi adds. “Natalia’s adventures are totally her speed.”

“How did you picture Natalia?” Silla asks, pulling out her phone. “Do you want to add illustrations? One of my good friends in Seattle is an illustrator, and she does art for books all the time. Let me pull up her profile.”

Our usual silence is filled in with praise, suggestions, and jokes. It’s foreign for us to talk about Natalia without crying. For us to say her name with joy. For her to be a light, not a shadow on our happiness. I can finally breathe, and the grief I’ve carried lightens with each one.

Natalia, Natalia, Natalia.Her name is a salvation.

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