Page 26 of Audiophile

You’re going on a date? That’s awesome! I’m proud of you for getting back out there. I’m sure he’s great, but I wouldn’t be opposed to you sending his info. I need to vet him.

I laugh. Silla’s always been the most open-minded of us, but even she’d be surprised by how Reed makes a living. Then again, she knew me better than anyone back when I was too wild. She’d understand his appeal.

Not a date. Never trust intel from Livi.

I also know that you like to downplay things.

It’s NOT A DATE. I don’t even know him. He’s…I don’t know.

C’mon, spill to your big sis.

He’s genuinely nice. And he pulls me out of my head. I say stuff before I even think about it and it’s just like…deep, personal stuff laid out there for him to see. It might’ve been the wine, too, but I’ve been drunk around guys before and it doesn’t usually go that direction.

Getting out of your head is exactly what you need, Troni. If it doesn’t go anywhere, I’m still proud of you. He might be a stranger, but he’s already having an effect.

Oh please. You’re not even here to notice.

Yeah? Look at how much you’ve texted me.

I scroll up through our conversations. For months, all Silla got were one line responses, followed by mounds of unanswered texts. She kept reaching out, but I never met her halfway.

I’m sorry. I’ll try to be better.

Livi waltzes through the door at quarter past seven. Her long, brown waves shimmer in the fluorescent lights as she finds Ray, and he escorts her to my register. “You’ve got a date? Go, put yourself together,” Ray says.

I wince at that, and Livi guides me to the break room. “Alright, I have to ask: when’s the last time you plucked your eyebrows?”

I rub one self-consciously. “It’s been a while,” I admit. There are tweezers on aisle fourteen, and I consider pilfering some.

“I know you said not to…” Livi shoves a bag into my arms as we enter the breakroom. “But I brought all the necessities. Outfit choices, makeup bag, tweezers, deodorant. The works.”

I’m afraid to open the bag. I’m afraid to see Reed tonight. I’m afraid of a thousand possibilities.

I imagine Nate standing in front of me. Bored. Disinterested.“No one cares how you look,” he’d say. “Go in your pajamas for all I care.”Except that wasn’t what he expressed to our friends. Instead of helping me through my depression, Nate threw me under the bus. When I uncovered all the lies he told about me, I was humiliated.

“You’re making me nervous, Livi,” I admit. “I don’t want to be nervous. This is Reed, who is a total stranger and only here for the night, so it doesn’t matter. And it’s not a date.”

Livi looks at me, really looks, and her face softens. “If you say it’s nothing, then it’s nothing. But if we were going to dinner together, you’d change. Let’s pretend that’s what you’re doing. Okay?”

I’d never considered asking Livi for advice, but she’s not terrible at it. Silla’s always been my go-to person, but we’ve grown distant since we both moved away. “Since when did you and Tommy get to be so grown up?”

“I have three kids—I hope that I’ve grown. You should go with the red; you’re beautiful in red. Or black with a sheer neckline?” Livi offers a handful of choices, and they’re all my favorites. She combed my closet with a familiarity I hadn’t expected. “If you didn’t sleep with him, what’s the real story?”

I frown, swiping on some concealer. “I went over, we had too much wine, I stayed until I sobered up. Nothing happened—not a single kiss.” Reed’s warm body pressed against the length of mine soothed a wound I hadn’t known was still bleeding. There’s something magic about it, so I keep our hours of cuddling to myself.

“Seriously?” Livi is unimpressed. “Chelsea said he’s cute. What’s the holdup?”

“Does everyone have an opinion on this?”

“Would you rather I was apathetic? C’mon, Petra! When’s the last time you went on a date? When’s the last time you were kissed?” she asks. I open my mouth to answer, but Livi cuts me off. “The way youwantedto be kissed. Kissed like—like you’re the love of his life.”

Never.

There’s a stinging beneath my ribs, so I deflect. “I didn’t want to know this much about you and Darin.”

“Petra.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

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