Page 101 of Audiophile

“Stellina.” Papa heaves a sigh and sinks onto the barstool as if he’s suddenly thirty years older. “You’re trying to protect me, but I knew you loved him when you rushed down the stairs at Sunday dinner. You smiled so brightly thatLa Madonnacould have appeared in our kitchen and I wouldn’t have noticed.”

My cheeks flush. “I—”

“And I knew he loved you the moment after.”

His words suck all the air out of the room. “Shouldn’t you be warning me away?”

“When did you decide you loved Nate?” Papa asks.

It’s a shock to hear his name. Papa hasn’t forgiven Nate for my second pregnancy. When I told Papa I was carrying again, I cried in anguish. Instead of the happiness of a new opportunity, I dreaded what could come next. And after I lost the baby, I faded into a ghost. Papa watched it all, knowing there was nothing he could do. Nothing I’d let him do.

Did I love Nate?Our relationship was born out of turmoil. He said it first, after I found out I was pregnant with Natalia, and I just…said it back. “I don’t know.”

Papa nods, quietly fiddling with his wedding ring as I cover the frittata. “I knew after our third date that Anita was the only woman I wanted to spend my life with. Sometimes love strikes fast and hard, Petra. I learned to embrace it when it does.”

“I thought you wanted me to be a nun.”

Papa shakes his head. “I want you to be happy.”

I grimace as guilt pierces my belly. “I’m happy here with you.”

Papa stands up and pulls me into his arms, kissing my hair. “I’m older than you, and will be cold before you. I love having you close, I’ll alwayswantyou close, but I want you to be loved after I’m gone.”

I blink back hot tears. “Don’t talk like you’re ninety. You’re not even sixty yet.”

Papa laughs into my hair as he squeezes me. “I’m not dying anytime soon! I’m giving my blessing. Don’t make me take it back.”

He didn’t give his blessing before. It would’ve come eventually, maybe at a wedding shower or when Natalia was born. But neither of those happened. “Ti voglio bene, Papa.”

“And I love you,principessa.” He lets go of me so I can check the frittata and plate it for him. When we sit and chat together, it’s easier than before. Papa makes me laugh, and it clears up the darkness in his own face. I wasted so much time heartbroken, when I could’ve had all this. A family who loves me, a…Reed, who makes me happy, a prospective career that I never dreamed I’d have another chance at.

I clear the dishes as a way to broach the topic without having to face Papa. “I’m going to stay the night with Reed. Will you tell Mama where I am when she wakes up?”

Papa chokes on his eggs. It’s a big ask. “Of course, I’ll handle it.”

“Love you doubly.” I kiss his whiskery cheek and squeeze him in the biggest hug I can manage. I give him a smile before I grab my bag.I’ll be back soon, I nearly say, but the words won’t come out. This is the start of something new, and we both know it. So I bite my lip and close the door behind me.

I circle the terminals, heart in my throat. My heart beats his name, as if he’s in my body.Reed. Reed. Reed.He’s inevitable.

He steps onto the sidewalk, his messy brown hair glinting in the sun, and my heart stops beating entirely. I pull up to the curb, andI’m not sure who runs to who, because it’s an instant before we’re inches away.

His hand cups my jaw, and his eyes are soft. “You’re here.”

“And you’re here.”

Reed takes my hand and puts it on his chest. “You’rehere.” Electricity courses through us. We form a circuit together, his thumb on my cheek, my fingers over his fast beating heart. I’m speechless in the face of Reed’s soft, honey eyes and half-smile. It’s like he’s never seen me before, or like he might never see me again.

I can’t breathe when Reed’s lips touch mine, sweet and slow. I had plenty of air before and was barely surviving, but I’m vibrantly alive with Reed. Oxygen be damned.

I wrap my arms around him, kissing him with everything I want to say.I’m sorry I didn’t call for weeks. I don’t know why I thought this thing between us would fizzle out. I’m sorry I held back when you were in Swift River. I’m ready to jump if you are. Jump with me.

“Reed,” I whisper.

He ducks his face into my neck, his hands tight around my waist. “I missed you every minute.”

Before I can spill everything weighing on my heart, a traffic officer blows his whistle at us with aget movingmotion. I help Reed load his bags into the back, and when we pull into traffic, his palm is warm against mine. His fingers stroke my skin as if reassuring himself that we’re together.

“Do you want to get something to eat?”

---