Page 111 of Rise of the Queen

“He feels different to me too, princess. It’s not just you. Same for the Wonder Twins. We talked about it earlier.”

It was at the point in the conversation where Ivan would respond to Viktor. He effortlessly responded correctly to what Viktor had just said, like he’d only been listening to Viktor that entire time and not talking to me as well.

“That was fucking impressive,”I said when Viktor started talking again. I could hear Ivan laugh in his head, but he never even hinted at a smile on his face. I went back to working on Stephen’s cookies, smiling to myself.

I fell asleep quickly that night, across Adrik’s chest. I found myself in my darkness. I fully expected it to fade and the path to the house where I always saw my dad appear before me, but it never did. Instead, it just got brighter so I could see around me. Except there was nothing around me. The light continued to get brighter. I glanced around, trying to find something, anything. When I turned around, there was a small boy in front of me.

“Holy shit. Creepier than anything else I’ve ever seen here,” I said. He giggled, which made me realize that I’d just cursed in front of a child. “Crap. Shit. Dammit! Apparently, I’m incapable of not cursing in front of you. Tell your parents I’m very sorry,” I said.

He giggled again, walking closer to me. “Do you know who I am?” he asked.

I studied him for a few moments. There was a familiarity to him, but I knew I’d never seen him before. I chewed on my bottom lip, then it suddenly hit me. “Kostya?” I asked.

His boyish grin spread across his face. He nodded. “This is the form that Viktor likes best, so I use it the most. I wasn’t sure how much you’d looked in his head. I didn’t want to confuse you.”

“I haven’t looked in his head at all, Kostya. I don’t do that. Why does nobody believe me about that?”

He giggled again. “Because we would all take advantage of being able to read people’s thoughts, so we can’t possibly fathom that you wouldn’t want to.”

“It’s not all burritos and sunshine, kid. There’s lots of things I wish I’d never seen,” I said. I looked at him, curious. “Why are you here?”

“You feel a difference with Viktor that you don’t with the rest of them,” he said. He waited for me to agree with his statement before he continued, “The others are like you, Adrik, and Ivan now. They’ll eventually be able to walk between Heaven and Hell. They’ll learn how to make their demons work for them.”

He didn’t need to finish and I knew. “Viktor wants no part of that,” I said.

Kostya smiled. “Your dad said you were smart. You’re right. He had a choice and he chose to stay away from Hell. As such, his connection to you will never be as strong as the others. Same for them. They’ll never be as connected to him as they are to each other.”

“Does it mean he really wants to leave?” I asked.

“No, he told you he was all in and he is. But the demons scare him. Viktor’s soul isn’t as old as yours, you have to remember. It doesn’t have as much experience.” He paused, taking a deepbreath. “It’s also why you’re irritated still and can’t figure out why. It’s not you, it’s your demon that’s irritated.”

I laughed. “My demon’s feelings are hurt? Why do I find that endearing?”

“Your demon hasn’t always been a demon, Sephie. It started out as a soul, just like you. Because you’ve made friends with it and you’re using it for good, you’re helping it repair the damage done by the evil it gave in to. You’re giving it a better existence than it could ever have if it continued to give in to evil. It’s hurt. It feels like Viktor is rejecting it. Your connection is stronger with Adrik and Ivan because of your demons. Your connection with Misha, Andrei, and Stephen is becoming stronger because they want to help their own demons. Viktor asked for his demon to be taken away. Your demons all know this, without you knowing this.”

“Is he still scared of me?”

“He can separate the two. He’s not scared of you, but the demons still unnerve him. They always have, if you remember. He’s always had the hardest time with your eyes changing, even before you knew it was your demon stepping forward,” he said.

“How do I help him not be scared?”

“It will take time. I’ve been helping him as much as I can. You were right. I have been coming to him every night, trying to help him accept everything. There’s a small part of him that doesn’t trust your demons still.”

I thought for a minute. “Does it have to do with his time in the Syrian prison?”

He giggled again. “He said you were smart. He didn’t say you were this smart. It does. The man who would torture Viktor was completely consumed by a demon. Viktor saw glimpses. When your eyes change, he can’t help but remember that time. Heknows it’s not the same, but he still struggles to remember that,” he said.

“How do I help him get over that?”

“You can’t,” he said, and I immediately felt my hopes come crashing down. “But Stephen can. Adrik told him that he was going to level up soon. That’s true. Stephen will be able to take Misha’s hatred for Giana and get rid of it. He’ll also be able to take everything Viktor still carries from his time in prison and get rid of it.”

“How? Doesn’t he need to give it back to the people who gave it to Misha and Viktor?”

“Not once he levels up. He spent so much time trying to find ways to transmute the pain from his childhood that he’s going to be able to do it for other people. He knows the struggle of not being able to get rid of something that feels like it’s killing you slowly. He’s going to be able to help others with that. That’s partly why he’s so happy now. He knows, without knowing, that he helped you to feel better and it’s made him ecstatic.”

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I thought about everything Stephen had gone through. For him to still want to help people after all that, said everything anyone would need to know about what kind of person he is. I loved him a little more for it.

“How do we get over feeling irritated around Viktor?” I asked.

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