Page 52 of Rise of the Queen

He laughed. “That’s exactly what I was thinking. I’m finding myself enjoying spending time with my father. He’s completely different from the man I’ve known my entire life. But I’d also prefer to have the place to ourselves once more. You’re terrible at staying quiet,” he said, cutting his eyes at me.

“You only have yourself to blame for that one,” I said, pulling my shirt over my head, standing in front of him in only my underwear.

“Who said it was a bad thing?” he asked as he walked to me. He ran his hand lightly up my arm to the back of my shoulder as he took another step, now standing behind me. He lightly ran his hand over my back, unhooking my bra. Both hands pushed the straps off my shoulders, causing it to fall to the floor.

I felt his hot breath against my skin as he left gentle kisses across the top of one shoulder, then the other. I could feel his body heat as he moved closer to me, but just far enough away that I couldn’t feel his skin on mine yet. His warm hands roamed from my shoulders around to my breasts. He was slow, deliberate in his touch. I could feel his desire, but I could also feel he was trying to contain it.

I knew he was worried about me being able to catch my breath. He was also worried about me staying quiet while we had guests.

His hands massaged my breasts, then slowly traveled down my stomach. He still kept his distance from me. I made a move to lean back against him, but he moved as well. He was enjoying torturing me. He ran his hands over my hips, then back around to my ass. I felt his lips on my shoulder once more.

I was starting to breathe harder, the longer he kept up his slow torture. Finally, he pulled me back against him. I moaned softly, finally able to feel his warmth against me. He wrapped one arm around my waist, holding me against him. The other ran up in between my breasts to my neck. His touch still soft and slow, he tilted my head to the side giving him full access to my neck. He left a trail of kisses down my neck. I gasped when I felt his teeth graze my neck just above my collarbone.

The hand that was around my waist, moved down my stomach, into my soaking wet panties. When his fingers felt my wetness, he groaned quietly. I pushed my hips back into him, leaning my head back on his shoulder. His lips were on my neck once more, his free hand on one of my breasts.

I felt both hands on my hips as he slid my panties down my legs to the floor. His hands slowly running back up my legs. I felt his teeth bite my ass. He laughed as I squealed, jumping away from him.

“You know what trying to get away from me does to me,” he said, pulling me back to him.

When he pulled me to him, he turned me to face him. His hands continued to roam slowly over my body, but now I could do the same to his. I could feel his hardness pressed against my stomach. My hands roamed over his chest, his shoulders, down his arms. He grabbed my hands in his, moving my arms behind my back. He held both my arms in one of his hands while the other hand moved to my neck, once again tilting my head to give him full access.

His grip on my arms was soft, but I didn’t like having my arms restricted. I pulled them out of his grip, but he caught them and put them back, holding me a little tighter. His lips went back to my neck. I tried to concentrate on his lips, but all I could think about was having my hands tied behind my back while Armandobeat me. I tried to pull my arms free once more, but his grip tightened. I whimpered, my panic fully setting in.

He felt it immediately. “Sephie, what’s wrong? Why are you panicking?” he asked. He loosened his grip and I ripped my arms free, hugging my chest. His arms were around me instantly, his voice soft in my ear, telling me that I was safe. I was with him. No one was going to hurt me.

“My arms. I don’t like having them behind me. I don’t like having them restricted since …” I didn’t need to finish. He knew.

“Sephie. Sephie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think …” he said, holding me tightly.

“It’s okay. I’m okay. Just not behind me like that.”

He put his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me far enough away from him that he could look me in the eyes. The look in his eyes told me my eyes were likely still white. He searched my eyes for a moment, then I saw the look of confusion on his face. “Why are you sad?” he asked as I closed my eyes, trying to get a handle on my emotions.

I stayed quiet for a moment, not sure how to answer his question. I felt so out of control lately. I couldn’t get a handle on my fear. Little things would make me panic that never bothered me before. My eyes were doing their own thing. I still worried that the guys were all scared of me because of my inability to control my constantly changing eyes. Now I completely killed the mood because of something silly. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me when he was holding my arms. But I couldn’t fight off the fear of feeling that vulnerable again.

I felt his fingers under my chin, gently lifting my face. “Sephie, look at me. Please,” he said. His voice was soft, but urgent.

I opened my eyes, letting him search. It only took him a moment. He pulled me close again, hugging me tightly. “You’ve been through so much. I can’t believe you’re beating yourselfup for struggling with processing everything. This was my fault, Sephie. I didn’t think about you not wanting to have your arms behind you. You have a very good reason for not wanting that. I should’ve known.”

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” I said quietly, my face in his chest.

“It’s not and you’re not, love. Not all the way. You’re dealing with so much just on your own. Not even considering how you’re helping everyone around you all the time.”

“I want to help them. I don’t want them to be scared.”

Of me,I wanted to add, but didn’t.

He pulled me away from him to look at me again. He searched for a few minutes, but didn’t respond right away. He picked up his shirt that he had left out for me, holding it out for me. He quietly buttoned it up after I slid my arms through the sleeves. Then he rolled up the too-long sleeves. He reached down, taking my hand, and pulled me toward the bedroom with him. He climbed into bed first, then pulled me into his lap so I was straddling him. He looked at me for a few minutes, his hands in their usual battle with my curls before he finally broke the silence.

“Sephie, I don’t know what to say to make you believe that we’re not scared of you. The things that are happening are strange. It’s a lot to take in. But all of it is made so much easier because we all have you to help us through it. If this were happening without you, we would all be admitted to the psych ward. You’re what’s kept us sane through all of this.” He pulled me down, pressing his lips gently to mine for a moment before he continued. “I’m worried that we’re depending on you too much, without giving you what you need in return.”

“I don’t think that’s true. You’re all becoming experts at feeling my shifts in mood. Even Stephen, who can’t feel what I feel can read me now, apparently. I think you’re putting too muchpressure on yourself and the guys,” I said. He raised an eyebrow at me. “I’ve been through some shit, Adrik. Even without the past I have, just what has happened since I’ve met you has been a lot. Most of it I’m dealing with and trying to move past, but there’s going to be times when something triggers bad memories and feelings. That’s unavoidable. Only this time, I have you and I have the guys to help me through it when it happens.”

He had a small smile on his face as he looked at me. “You always do that,” he said quietly.

“Do what?”

“End up making me feel better when I’m trying to make you feel better.”

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