Page 22 of A Miracle for the Reserved Flyboy

She hit send, her eyes glued to the screen, waiting. Waiting for anything. The little dots that signaled he was typing, a word,a laugh, something to show her she wasn’t standing at the edge of a cliff, confessing to a wide, empty silence. But then, the message simply read, “Seen.”

And that was it. No response, no little bubbles, no reassuring words from Gary. Just silence.

A heavy sigh slipped from her lips, the breath carrying all the weight she’d tried to hold back. Her shoulders slumped, her heart dropping into the endless ache that had been building ever since she’d realized that she was falling for him. She forced herself to look around at the chaos of the school’s makeshift backstage area. Costumes lay haphazardly across tables, waiting for last-minute fixes. Paintbrushes dried stiff in water cups, forgotten props scattered here and there. She had too many tasks, a hundred more things to do, yet none of it felt quite real. It was all just noise, a distraction from the emptiness that hollowed out her chest as she stared at her phone screen.

This wasn’t how things were supposed to go, she thought bitterly, kicking an empty cardboard box across the floor. She hadn’t planned to fall for him, hadn’t wanted to feel so attached. But Gary had slipped past her defenses, winding his way into her thoughts with his easy laugh, that familiar grin, and that genuine kindness that always seemed to show up right when she needed it most. She was helpless to resist. And now, she was realizing with a sick twist of her stomach that he would be gone. She could tell herself that he was only a friend, but she knew it was a lie. He’d somehow become more, a part of her heart she hadn’t meant to give, and now she was stuck with that painful truth: she was falling in love with someone who was leaving.

“Krista, are you all right?” a voice broke through her reverie, jarring her back to the present. It was Mark, the school janitor, looking at her with concern. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She forced a smile, pushing back the emotion that threatened to spill over. “Just… a lot on my mind,” she mumbled, brushinga stray hair out of her face and returning to the heap of costumes piled beside her.

“Need help with anything? I can haul some of this mess out of here if it’ll make it easier for you.”

She shook her head. “No, no, thank you, though, Mark. I think I’ve got it.”

He nodded and left her alone, but his words lingered. Did she look that lost, that heartbroken? She wished she could tell someone, pour out her feelings, but how could she begin to explain this messy blend of longing and regret? Not when she barely understood it herself.

Krista glanced at her phone once more, almost reflexively.Maybe I should just go to him,she thought, feeling the pull, the almost unbearable urge to tell Gary everything—to pour out the truth, even if he didn’t want it, even if it scared him away to just lay her heart bare before he left for good. But reality sank in. She couldn’t abandon the show. The kids needed her. She had a play to run, her parents waiting for her, and the mounting responsibility that stretched her thin like a thread about to snap.

And dinner tonight, she’d have to beg her father to step into the role of the Rat King, despite his protests, despite her mother’s insistence that he couldn’t do it. She could feel her strength crumbling beneath the pressure, like a dam about to burst. Between her father’s reluctance, the frantic last-minute planning, and the aching void that Gary would leave behind, she didn’t know how she’d make it through.

Who needs sleep anyway?she thought with a wry smile, dragging her tired body through yet another set of tasks.

But no matter how many things she checked off her list, nothing seemed to fill the emptiness. It was like pouring water into a sieve, an endless loop of “keep busy, stay distracted” that couldn’t quiet her heart. Her mind wandered back to that lasttext she’d sent him, the message left unanswered, and her heart twisted again. Sleep? Sleep was a luxury for people with peaceful minds. And tonight, she’d trade every hour of rest just to hear his voice once more or look into his eyes.

Krista glanced at her watch,feeling a pang of anxiety. She was late—far later than she’d planned. Two texts from her parents lit up her screen, each one a gentle nudge wrapped in worry.

Honey, are you running behind?

I’ll keep dinner warm—be safe.

She muttered under her breath, tucking a strand of glitter-streaked hair behind her ear. “Am I running behind? Ha! Is it December 23rd?”

Her gaze swept across the stage, catching on the last touches she’d added in a final burst of frantic holiday cheer. She adjusted the glitter-laden poinsettias she had painstakingly wrapped around the banisters of the round stage, which stood proudly beneath a small, peaked roof decorated with twinkling lights. The railings sparkled with oversized fake gumdrops crafted from carefully carved pool noodles, their vibrant colors catching the glow of the spotlights above. She’d used a hot glue gun to encrust each poinsettia with glitter, giving them an almost magical shimmer. The sugar plums—two oversized plastic exercise balls rolled in spray glue and glitter—looked like something out of a winter fairy tale, catching every flicker of light with a dazzling sparkle. Her handiwork glittered in every corner, a true winter wonderland—and yet, she knew she’d be dusting sparkles off her clothes and out of her hair for days.

But it was done.

Finally, something had gone right. The setup was ready for the next night’s performance ofThe Nutcracker. The decorations seemed to come alive under the soft lighting, lending the stage an air of warmth and festivity that matched the spirit of the season. Krista’s heart swelled with pride and relief.

If only she could say the same for everything else. The lingering worry about her father stepping into the role of the Rat King gnawed at her. He’d agreed, but she could never be sure he wouldn’t back out last minute since he’d already tried to once already. And Gary… well, the silence from him had started to feel louder and louder, a weight pressing down on her chest.

A pang of longing washed over her as she thought of him. Maybe after dinner with her family, she’d find a way to track him down and finally speak her mind. She wasn’t sure what she’d say, exactly—she barely understood her own feelings—but whatever it was, it had to come out. Her father was right: she was terrified. The vulnerability of it all made her chest tighten with panic, but something deeper called her to be brave, to take a chance.

Was this love?she wondered, her heart fluttering with the unsteady hope that it might be.Maybe?

But was she terrified?

Abso-freakin-lutely.

She shook out her hair, watching the glitter sprinkle to the floor in a light dusting, then gave herself a quick shake like she was trying to get rid of nerves instead of glitter. The holiday lights around her flickered, and she took one last, long look at the stage before heading toward the car.

Outside, the holiday scene was winding down. A few of the other volunteers bustled around, tying off last-minute decorations or checking on displays. The petting zoo, part of the quaint holiday village setup, looked a little… well, worn. The goats and sheep were snuggled up in their pen, looking scruffyafter so many kids’ eager petting. The humble manger scene was also showing signs of wear, its hay-strewn display just a little tired, but charming nonetheless. The manger was ‘managing’ – as her father would say before letting out a little laugh at his own clever saying. Christmas was almost here, and as long as the animals behaved and the reindeer didn’t eat through all the hay meant to soak up “barnyard smells,” they’d make it to Christmas Eve without incident.

At least I hope so,she thought with a small smile, walking past the petting zoo. The comforting scents of pine and hay wafted through the air, mingling with the faint scent of animals, creating an earthy reminder of the holidays. She’d done her part, and now all that remained was the waiting and remembering her lines.

As she reached into her bag for her phone, she glanced at her hands and winced. Paint, glitter, and glue clung to her fingers, somehow finding their way under her screen protector in stubborn little patches. She swiped the screen, and her heart sank a little as she checked for a message from Gary.

Still nothing.

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