Those damn words again. I already know I’m defective; it’s why I protect myself by staying solitary. Having it pointed out twice tonight makes me queasy.
“You’re fired, Tad. Get the fuck out and take the slut with you. Someone will have your shit boxed up and ready for you by end of day tomorrow. Do not enter my shop again.” As I spin around to walk away, I slam into a wall of muscle.Fuck.
“You fuc–” Tad starts.
“Finish that sentence, and you won’t like the consequences,” Callan growls as he maintains one hand around my waist.
“You’ll regret this,” Tad mutters as the two of them leave.
“Who the hell was that?” Eli asks as he re-locks the front door.
I’m not worried about Tad’s threat, but I know he’s about to start some shit to fuck with me. “Former employee now,” I mutter, backing away from Callan, despite loving his hold. “He’s nobody.” Honestly, I thought we had been friends.
“Sure seemed like someone.” Callan eyes me critically, so I throw on a fake smile.
“Doesn’t matter now. Let’s get you finished up and out of here so you can have some of your night left.” Walking back to my station, I grab a fresh set of gloves and wait for Callan to take a seat again before grabbing my ink gun and returning to work.
I’d like to be finished sooner rather than later so I can lick my wounds in private. I realize I shouldn’t let Tad and Kara’s words affect me the way they are, but a lifetime ofthose similar comments makes it easier to re-open the old wounds.
Listening to my parents and siblings snidely remind me about howdifferent I am and how no one would want to spend their life with someone who defaces skin and has altered their appearance so much gets harder every year. I left home as soon as I turned eighteen because I couldn’t stand hearing it daily anymore. They didn’t care.
Now, we have minimal contact. Until the damn invite I received in the mail a few days ago, followed up by a phone call this morning.
Dad’s earned apartnership at his law firm, and they want me to come home for some big Christmas celebration. He’s likely promised his colleagues that his entire family will be there, which means my presence is required since they wouldn’t be able to explain away my absence when I’m only a few hours away from St. Albert.
However, after tonight, if the requested ‘but you have to cover up your tattoosandstrip the colour from your hair’weren’t part of the deal, I might have considered it. But I won’t change who I am so that the people in their lives will accept me when they can’t be bothered.
The last time I saw Dad, he’d been pissed about the eyebrow and nose rings I’d gotten a few years ago. It’s a constant battle with them. The way I dress, look, talk. They want me to change instead of just loving me for me.
I’m startled when a finger lifts my chin. “It fucking matters, sugar.” The intensity in Callan’s eyes makes mesquirm as I recall what I last said about Tad and his insults not mattering.
He’s right. Of course, they matter.
Itmatters. Because my heart feels ready to explode.
It matters because it makes me feel like I’m not worthy of love.
It matters because I would love for none of it to matter.
I crave being worthy of someone like him, like Eli.
I’ve known them fora few hours, yet they’ve treated me better than anyone else in my life, despite my petty bantering. I find myself wishing I could be the kind of woman they find attractive and want to know. To spend time with.
I wish I could be normal instead of having this need to stand out.
Eli
The expression on Gray’s face guts me. The asshole and his little girlfriend probably didn’t even notice it, but we sure as fuck did, and I’m pissed as hell. I never knew it was possible to watch a person’s heart shatter, but it’s clear that is what’s happening. What he said really got to her.
The need to know why such spiteful words hurt her so much is a driving force. Those fucking walls are built high enough to keep out a thousand men. I doubt she’s ever let anyone in to see the person she truly is, and I’m desperate to climb and conquer her barriers.
“He’s wrong, you know,” I say as I sit back down and watch her work on my friend. She’s fast and efficient, and when I booked the appointment, it’s true, I hadn’t known she was awoman, but I’m impressed as hell. For someone so damn young, she’s at the top of her field.
Ignoring my comment, she glances up at Callan and says, “It shouldn’t be too much longer.” Grinding my molars, I’m desperate for her banter. It was a different kind of flirtingbetween the three of us, and now we’ve lost her because of that asshole.
Silently fuming, I glance at my best friend, knowing he feels the same way. The intensity in his eyes has coloured them nearly black, and I can tell he wants to go after the punk and teach him a lesson in manners.
The tick in his jaw is pronounced when heasks her, “He always talk to you like that?”