Page 28 of Body Shot

“Ugh.”

“Exactly. I told her I would take care of the baby, but there was no way I was going to marry someone so deceitful. She was on her own. She cried and begged and told my parents on me, like I’m some kind of child.”

“Did they take her side?”

“No, but they’re a little old-fashioned, you know, reminding me that it’s better for the child if we’re at least married when it’s born. If things don’t work out, we can divorce later. That kind of thing.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No. I told her I wouldn’t give her a dime until after the baby came and we could do a paternity test. Then I left to come back to get ready for training camp. Three weeks later she had a miscarriage.”

“Did she really or did she just say that?”

“From what I understand—my sister works at the same school she works at—she was bleeding all over the teacher’s lounge. They had to call an ambulance.”

“Oh, Anders. I’m so sorry.” She reaches out to slide her hand onto my thigh. “Do you believe it was your baby?”

“Yes, I’m pretty sure. She knew I would be mad, so if it wasn’t mine, there would be hell to pay. Honestly, I believe she loved me. I can’t help the fact that while I liked her, and enjoyed her company, I wasn’t in love with her.”

“So I’m sure it hurt, knowing it was your baby.”

“I don’t know what I felt. Not really pain, more just an overwhelming sadness at the whole situation. Sad that she felt the need to trap me. Sad that she had to go through something sotraumatic on her own. Sad that it ended the way it did. But she brought it on herself.”

“You didn’t feel anything for the baby?”

“It wasn’t real to me,” I admit. “I was so mad when I saw she’d poked holes in the condoms, that was all I could think about. Then I left and really wasn’t part of it. I was determined not to care about it until we did the paternity test, just in case. I was subconsciously protecting myself, I guess.”

“Totally understandable.”

“And on top of that, it was big news in our little town. It’s a suburb of Stockholm, but one of those areas where everyone knows each other, and of course, because I play in the NHL, everyone knows me and my family.

“Do they think you dumped her because she lost the baby?”

“No, but there was still a lot of gossip for my parents to deal with.”

“That sucks.”

“So, yeah, that’s the story. You’re not the only one with a horrible ex.”

“I guess there are a lot of horrible exes.”

“There are. Which is why I’m determined not to be one myself.”

TEN

Claudia

No matterhow hard I tried to keep a tight rein on my emotions, Anders is slowly but surely poking his own kind of holes in my defenses. Listening to him talk about his ex makes me feel better about my own past. It’s a different situation, but it’s as realistic as it is heartbreaking. I can hear the sadness in his voice as he tells the story, and I feel bad that our fun day is starting out on such a serious note.

“We don’t have to talk about that anymore,” I say. “But thank you for sharing it with me.”

“You’re welcome.” His fingers curl around mine, and it’s nice.

To be here with him.

Out on a date.

Holding hands.

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