Page 25 of Body Shot

“And he still wants to go out with you.” Sloane sounds like she’s smiling.

“He does.”

“More than that,youwant to go out with him,” Hana murmurs.

“Who could turn him down?” I demand. “I mean, have you seen him? He’s six feet three inches of Swedish hotness.”

“I don’t want to minimize whatever it was that happened to you,” Sloane says softly, “because I was sexually abused by the leader of my church starting when I was ten years old. But you can move on. Do whatever it takes to move past it, Claudia. Don’tallow someone who hurt you in the past to dictate what you get out of life in the future.”

“Oh. Sloane.” I’m shocked and horrified, but also a little embarrassed. What she went through had to be much more traumatic than my experience. “Mine was more of a medical trauma, though it impacted me emotionally as well. To make a very long story short—” I take off my cucumber pieces and look around, to make sure we’re alone before I fill them in.

“Oh, sweetie.” Sloane takes off her cucumber slices and looks at me. “I’m sorry. I can’t even imagine how painful that was.”

“I feel ridiculous compared to your story.”

“Don’t do that.” She shakes her head. “Your trauma doesn’t get minimized because you perceive mine as worse. Yes, mine was pretty terrible, but I came out the other side. And you can too.

“And Anders is a great guy,” Eden says. “A little bit of a playboy, but rumor has it, he went through something with his ex in Sweden. He won’t talk about it, but it was Martika this, Martika that, and then nothing. It’s over. Don’t want to talk about it. That was last summer. If Decker knows the story, he won’t tell me.”

“I don’t think he knows because Johan said Anders refuses to talk about it,” Sloane says. “The most he would say is that she betrayed him, and it had nothing to do with cheating.”

Holes in condoms.

For some reason, that little tidbit of information pops into my head from our conversation last night.

But if he was that closed-mouthed about it, I wasn’t going to betray his trust either.

“Well, I appreciate all the support,” I say, “and he does seem like a nice guy. But regardless, I go back to Philly a week from today and start my new job a week from tomorrow. I don’t think we have much of a future.”

Eden laughs. “Oh, those are very famous last words.”

“I don’t want to be this weird, nerdy lunatic who’s too afraid to have sex,” I admit. “I start to panic just thinking about it. It took me a year to start using tampons again.”

“How long has it been?” Sloane asks.

“Five years.”

They’re all quiet.

“Yeah, I know.” I sigh. “It’s been long enough.”

“If you want to move on, you can,” Hana says gently. “You just need to find the right guy. Someone you trust.”

“Do you trust Anders?” Eden asks.

“I don’t know,” I admit, “but I think so. I’ll probably know after tomorrow.”

“You’re going to the surfing lesson thing with him?” Sloane asks. “That’s awesome! We’re going too.”

“I’m going with Felix,” Hana says quietly. “He said he wants to talk to me about something.”

“That sounds…ominous,” Sloane says, wrinkling her nose.

“Personally, I think he’s dorky,” I say. “Not in how he looks, but in his mannerisms. I don’t know. There’s something about him I don’t like. For you, I mean. He seems like a decent guy, but when I think about the two of you together, I get uncomfortable.”

Hana gazes at me in surprise. “Really? And you don’t know why?”

“Nope. Just a gut feeling.” I shrug. “But you know who I like? Aiden. He’s kind of cute. A little shy, even.”

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