Page 74 of Play Book

“So, what happened?”

“After the funeral she told us she was taking Ally and moving to Chicago, where she could get a job and start fresh. She blamed me for driving Shawn away, even though my dad is the one who paid him off, and said she needed space. She didn’t trust us anymore. She left and that was it.”

“She was an adult. There isn’t anything you could have done.”

“My dad could have done a lot of things.”

“But he didn’t. And that’s on him, not on you.”

“Within a few years I was making a lot of money and?—”

“And what? You were twenty years old, finding your footing in hockey, and navigating adulthood. Carly believed her drug dealer boyfriend over you. Back then, there really wasn’t anything you could have done. But now you have a second chance with Ally, and you’ve stepped up to the plate. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“Carly told Ally I’m the reason her dad left them. That’s why she hates me.”

“Are you going to tell her the truth?”

“What, that I caught her father sexually abusing her? I mean, my hope is that she doesn’t remember and never has to know. Even if that means she continues to hate me.”

“You’re a good man, Canyon Marks.” She leans over and kisses the side of my face.

There she goes again, saying shit that makes me want to rethink all my life choices.

What is it about this woman that makes me stupid?

Or is this what love is?

It makes no sense.

Just because she’s beautiful and an empathetic ear doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.

Does it?

Is this how it happens? One day you’re fuck buddies and the next you’re thinking about the next step, the next level, the next thing you can do to be together all the fucking time?

If there’s a higher power up there, he or she has a warped sense of humor.

I wrap my arms around Saylor, and we nestle deeper into the couch. I like how she fits against my chest and how it feels to be with someone I can open up to. Be myself with.

I’ve never experienced this before. Obviously, I’ve never been open to it before either, but the only thing that comes to mind is that Saylor is special.

“Going forward,” I say after we’ve been lying there for a while. “I think we’re going to have to do this kind of stuff at my place. I can’t leave Ally alone all the time.”

“We’re going to be in the bedroom naked while she’s out in the living room watching TV?” Saylor quips, chuckling.

“No. I guess naked time is going to have to happen when she’s in school.”

“That’s a really small window considering you have practices and meetings, you have to be at the arena early on game days, and I actually run an art gallery. Not to mention when I travel.”

“Tell me about it. We both travel.”

Fuck.

I’m not going to be an easy boyfriend.

That’s probably why I’ve never been one before as an adult.

“We’ll figure it out,” she says, resting her head on my chest. “How’s the nanny search going?”

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