Page 126 of Play Book

There’s an uncomfortable silence and I know what’s about to happen.

So I’m going to make it easy on him because he’s obviously struggling.

“Look, don’t worry about me, okay? We had a deal that we would do this until it wasn’t working anymore, and now it’s not. I’m way too busy to worry about an eleven-year-old, and she hates me anyway. So you focus on Ally, and I’m going to focus on my art. Really.”

“I…are you breaking things off?”

Shit.

This is harder than I thought it would be, but I need to toughen up and let him off the hook. One of us has to be strong, or we’re both going to be hurt.

“It’s run its course. We knew this could happen.” Thankfully, my voice doesn’t waver. “There’s no need to make it a whole big thing. We agreed we’d enjoy ourselves, and I have. Truly. I’ve loved being with you, but you have responsibilities that don’t include me, and I’m not at a place in my life where I’m willing to wait around. I’ll be thirty-two in December, and I want to have a baby at some point, so my biological clock is ticking. And we both know you’re not ready for all that.”

“We never talked about kids,” he says, his voice laced with exasperation.

“I know. Because it wasn’t that serious. We’ve recently been on the verge of catching some feelings, so that’s why I think this is the perfect time to move on. You have to focus on Ally and hockey, and I have to focus on this new phase of my life.”

“Is this what you want?” he asks abruptly. “Like, for real?”

Not even a little bit.

“Yes, of course.”

Stupid mouth saying things my heart doesn’t want to hear.

“Then I guess this is it.”

“I guess it is.”

“I’m not sure what else to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not mad.”

“You told me once you’d be disappointed if this happened. Are you?”

“I am. But disappointment is part of life.”

I can almost feel his sigh.

“Take care of yourself, Saylor.”

“You too, Canyon.”

Then the line is dead, and all I can do is stare at the phone, almost willing him to call me back.

Except he’s not going to.

And despite what I’d said about being okay, I’m pretty much the opposite of okay.

In fact, my heart is shattered.

THIRTY-SEVEN

Canyon

I’ve never had a broken heart before, so I’m not sure if it’s the cause, but this tightness in my chest is starting to piss me off.

It could also have something to do with Ally being the clingiest, neediest, saddest kid I’ve ever known. Since the incident with Marjorie, she’s started having nightmares. We’ve been to see the therapist twice in the week since it happened, and when I mentioned meeting the team in Salt Lake City next week, she had a meltdown.

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