Page 105 of Play Book

“I think so.”

“A little older than you. What’s that about?”

“Age is just a number, Dad. Look at you and Fiona.” His new wife is almost twenty years his junior.

He ignores my jab. “Is it serious?”

“It’s a little early, but we’re heading in that direction, yes.”

“What about the girl?”

“The girl? You mean, Ally? Your granddaughter?”

He grunts. “I haven’t seen her in nearly ten years. Her mother ended our relationship, so I lost my granddaughter a long time ago.”

“That’s not Ally’s fault.”

“I realize that, but come on, son, what are you trying to prove here?”

“I’m not trying to prove anything. I’m giving a scared little kid who has no one else a home.”

“Canyon, I respect what you’re doing. I do. You’ve grown into a good man. But think about this. Think about your life. Your future.”

“What about it?”

“As someone who raised two kids, I can tell you it’s not easy. Everything changes. Your life isn’t your own. And even if you’re ready to give up your freedom, your way of life, and all of that, there’s more to raising kids than just providing food and shelter. As you saw with Carly, sometimes you can do everything right—and it’s still wrong.”

“Carly had issues,” I acknowledge, “but they weren’t your fault.”

“Of course they were my fault!” he says. “Who else’s fault could it be?”

“She was her own person. She made a mistake and got pregnant, but she’s not the first teenager to get knocked up by a deadbeat. It happens. You weren’t responsible.”

“Not directly, but obviously, I was a shit father to a girl. I did okay with you, but girls are different. And you’re not even Allison’s father. Do you really think you can raise a little girl? Seriously, son, your mother and I let her down. Her mother let her down. The system is letting her down. How many more people are going to let this kid down? Do her a favor and find some nice, suburban couple to adopt her. Raise her. Give her a real family. If you care about her, that’s the best thing you can do for her.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I grunt.

“It’s not about confidence,” he says. “It’s about reality. Practicality. Think about it, Canyon. You’re a pro hockey player. You’re gone all the time. You’ve had to hire a nanny, right?”

“Two of them.”

“So the nannies are going to be raising her. Not you. Two strangers. How is she better off than with a real family?”

“Tons of guys have families,” I protest. “They make it work. That doesn’t make them bad fathers.”

“Those guys have wives. The mothers of their children. It’s not the same.”

“Dad, I don’t want to argue about this. I’m not giving Ally up. She’s Carly’s daughter. To me, there’s no question of whether or not I can do it—it’s just a matter of figuring out the best way to do it.”

“And what about your girlfriend? How does she feel about the ready-made family? She probably wants kids of her own. You’re only twenty-six and at the height of your career. You really want to be distracted by a woman and a hormonal pre-teen?”

“Saylor isn’t a distraction. I’m in love with her. She’s the best thing to happen to me in a long time. And I’m playing better than ever, so what’s a distraction in your eyes has actually been pretty damn good for me.”

My father sighs dramatically.

“I’m trying to give you the benefit of my experience, son. I know how hard it can be and stepping in as both mother and father for this kid, well, you’re setting yourself up for a lot of hurt.”

“Maybe you should meet her before making up your mind about what’s going to happen.”

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