Page 98 of Unbind

My stomach is in knots, but I’ve been careful to supplement the light dinner I managed to get down with a load of gummies. The last thing I need is a badly-timed hypo.

When I arrive, I find to my delight that Baby Chloe is still awake. My God, she’s divine. She’s had her bath and smells like baby shampoo and talc and heaven. She’s in the softest pale pink onesie, and she blows bubbles and clutches at my hair as I bounce her on my lap. Not only am I delighted to get my fix of snuggles, but I’m selfishly hopeful that her presence will make this conversation less intense than it might otherwise be.

Only one way to find out.

I feel sick as I clear my throat. Winky and Anna know I have something specific I want to talk to them about. God knows what they’re imagining, but it sure as hell isn’t the truth. I remind myself that there’s no way around this. Not only do I owe this conversation to my brother, but I owe it to Adam, and it’s that that spurs me on.

He’s fucking wonderful. He floors me with his kindness and steadfastness. Absolutely floors me. There is no way on God’s green earth that I’ll let him feel for a second that I’m ashamed of his past, that I’ll keep our relationship in the shadows.

Even as I prepare to tell my brother something that might devastate him, and even as I brace myself for the worst, this new and wonderful and magnetic North Starshines brightly in my soul, reminding me of my purpose and giving me the kind of courage I never, ever have in any confronting situation. God knows, I can’t even renegotiate terms with my fabric suppliers without baulking, and this is the most horrifying conversation I’ve ever had to have.

But it doesn’t matter, because my North Star is as follows:

My relationship with Adam, and his importance to me, deserves to be legitimised in every single way.

‘So, the reason I wanted to chat,’ I say, craning my head to keep my hoop earring away from Chloe’s grabby little paw, ‘is that I’ve met a guy, and it’s still new, but it’s getting serious really quickly.’

There’s a split second where Winky and Anna both look shocked, but then they grin at me.

‘But that’s amazing, sis,’ Winky says. ‘We thought it was going to be something bad. You had us worried there.’

I grimace. ‘It’s a bit more complicated than that.’

‘Is he treating you well?’ He asks quickly.

‘Yeah. He’s treating me like an absolute queen. Honestly, he’s amazing, and…’ I trail off with a little shrug. ‘He’s just amazing,’ I say lamely, making a mental note to pull myself together and ramp up my rhetorical skills.

‘Okay…’ Anna says, frowning like she’s trying to read between the lines. ‘That’s fantastic, right?’

My inhale is shuddery. Jesus, this is hard. It’s hard for me and for Winky and for Adam, and ugh. Justugh. ‘He had a tricky time when he was younger,’ I said. ‘He’s the best man I’ve ever, ever met, but he had a really rough upbringing, and it made him do some terrible things.’ I sniff.Seriously, Natalie. Get it together.I glance up at them and see only sympathy on their faces.

‘He, um’—I stroke Chloe’s cheek, taking comfort in thevelvety softness of her skin—‘he did, like, areallybad thing, and he—oh my God, Winky, I’m so sorry.’

Anna’s still trying hard to figure out what the hell is going on, but I see the second it lands with my brother. His face hardens instantly.

‘You’ve got to be kidding me.’

‘What?’ Anna asks him.

I shake my head. ‘I know how awful it—’ I begin, but he’s on his feet and looming over me. He starts shouting.

‘You’re seeing AdamWright?You cannot be serious right now!’

‘Steve!’ Anna cries as I shrink back against the sofa, cuddling Chloe to me and pressing her little, soft head between my breast and my hand in the hope that she won’t hear her father screaming at her auntie. Winky’s the least aggressive guy on the planet, but historically there’s been no speedier way to wind him up than by mentioning Adam’s name, and I’ve never, ever seen him this furious.

He turns to his wife, gesturing at his prosthetic. ‘She’s fucking the guy who didthisto me. Have you no self respect at all? Jesus fucking Christ.’ That last bit is to me.

‘Listen to me,’ I plead, but it’s eminently clear that my brother isnotin listening mode. He’s spiralled so deep into his sympathetic nervous system that the blinkers—and the ear plugs—are well and truly on. It seems I’ve massively underestimated how triggering this revelation would be for him.

‘No.’ He points his finger at me. ‘You listen to me. What the bloody hell are you thinking? Meet him at your fancy sex club, did you? I cannot fucking believe that you’d spread your legs for the guy who put your own brother in hospital just because he’s bagged himself a few billion.’

‘Holy shit, babes,’ Anna says, getting off the sofa with amassive sigh. ‘Not in front of Chloe. And calm down, for God’s sake. You can’t talk to your sister like that.’

Clearly Anna has not received the memo that being told to calm down has never, ever resulted in anyone actually calming down. Not in the entire history of humankind.

I get his reaction, though. In my brother’s eyes, Adam Wright has been a two-dimensional, piece of shit bully for the past two decades. Just as he’s been in my eyes until very recently.

Anna walks over and takes Chloe gently out of my arms, and I let her. She presses her lips together sympathetically and gives me an encouraging little nod. I appreciate it. I suspect she doesn’t want to get too stuck into the discussion without a full set of facts, unlike my brother, who has no clue quite what an incomplete picture of Adam he’s working with here. The question is whether Winky will ever be willing to entertain some new perspectives.

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