Page 16 of My December Darling

Before the whole Aiden situation, Gabriela would alternate each year between spending Christmas with me and my family, but luckily for her, this year we can spend every single second of the holiday season together, starting with today’s block party in the town square.

“I’m so happy you’re here!” Gabriela claps her mittens together like she always did when we were little.

“Really?”

She snorts. “Yes, really. Is that so hard to believe?”

I stay quiet.

“Okay. What’s going on?” She nudges me.

“Nothing,” I say a little too quickly.

“Is it because of…” She tips her head in Aiden’s direction.

“No.” I emphasize.

Some tension bleeds away from her shoulders. “Oh. Good.”

“I just feel bad.”

“About what?”

“How weird things have gotten between us.”

Her eyes soften. “Well, things are a little…”

“Awkward?”

A puff of warm air escapes her mouth from her soft chuckle. “Yes. Exactly.”

“I hate it.”

“Same.” She ropes an arm around me. “How do we fix it?”

“I don’t know.” It’s not like we both haven’t put an effort into our relationship, but no matter how hard we try, there is this lingering awkwardness there.

Is it because of Gaby and Aiden, or does it have something to do with you?

A tightness in my chest makes breathing difficult. All this time, I thought my issue had more to do with Gaby and Aiden’srelationship, but maybe my insecurity about never finding love is the real issue. That I wasn’t tense about Aiden and Gaby per se, but rather the loneliness that always hits me whenever I spend time with a couple who remind me of what I don’t have.

How will you ever find love when you find every reason to keep your walls up?

“Can we agree to never let a man get between us?” My sister asks, interrupting my spiral.

I clear my head with a quick shake. “Absolutely. Maybe I’ll cut my losses and swear off men forever.”

Gaby hip-checks me. “Let’s not go to that extreme.”

“I don’t know. What’s so great about them anyway?”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t just say that.” Aiden tosses an arm around my sister’s shoulder.

“Good,” I say with a roll of my eyes while my sister giggles.

God, their love is so damn sweet, I’m instantly nauseated. Thankfully, the lights around us blink out, and everyone quiets as the mayor starts the countdown.

“Five…” the crowd gathered around us chants. “Four…three…two…one.”

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