Page 62 of My December Darling

I’ve had days like those, and they truly are the worst, and nothing anyone else says or does can make it better.

I suck in a deep breath and reply.

Me

It hit me harder than I expected. I wasn’t in a good headspace after it happened, so I wasn’t thinking straight.

Dots appear and disappear twice before a new message appears.

Catalina

You’d think we’d be immune to the feeling by now. That we would have built some kind of emotional tolerance to it or something, but I feel like it’s only gotten worse over the years.

I’m surprised at Catalina’s openness with me, especially after what she said earlier about this not going anywhere because that doesn’t seem true to me.

Me

I’d rather feel for every patient I lose than not feel anything at all.

Catalina

Me too.

Catalina

Mourning their life feels like the least we can do.

Me

I knew you’d understand.

I take a deep breath before sending my next message.

Me

Do you forgive me for no-showing yesterday?

The dots flicker on the screen before a new message appears.

Catalina

Yes. And now I feel bad for assuming the worst about you when you were clearly just going through a hard time.

I crack a smile while typing out my next text.

Me

Exactly how bad are we talking here?

Catalina

Not bad enough to go over there.

Me

Okay.

Me

---