Page 34 of My December Darling

“Like I’m always disappointing you, even when I’m trying my best?”

She sniffles. “I’m sorry my actions made you feel that way.”

I reach over the counter and grab her hand. “I know you tried in your own way.”

She shakes her head. “But it wasn’t good enough.”

“It’s not that it wasn’t good, but it isn’t what I need.” Her face pales, so I scramble to express myself better. “At least not now. I want to feel like I can count on you to lift me up.”Rather than tear me down.

“Tell me what else you need.”

“Honestly?”

She nods. “Yes.”

“I just want to feel like you seeme. Like you appreciate who I am and all my differences because I’m never going to be like you and Gabriela, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel left out.”

She gives my hand a squeeze. “Perdón, mi mijita. I…I can try. I’m not going to get it right the first time, or the second, but I’m hoping I can do better foryou.”

My mom and I may not agree on many things, but today, I feel more connected with her than ever.

It takes us a few minutes to collect ourselves, but once we do, I let her go and search for one of our favorite holiday songs on my phone.

My mom and I both finish cleaning up the kitchen while music plays from the portable speaker until one song in particular sparks an idea.

“Speaking of Abuela, you know what she would’ve loved?” I ask.

My mom stops sweeping the floor to look up at me.“¿Qué?”

“Una parranda.”

“How’s the speech going?”

I jolt at the sound of my sister’s voice behind me before slamming my notebook shut. “What are you doing here?”

“Mami wanted to go over a few wedding things, so I stopped by after work.”

“Oh.” I turn my office chair around to face her. “How’s it going?”

“Good. I also thought it would also be a good time to apologize.”

“To Mom? For what?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Toyou.” She drags my vanity stool across the room and takes a seat in front of me.

“But you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Just let me get this out.”

“Okay.” I seal my mouth shut.

“I overreacted the other day and let my fears get the worst of me.”

I resist the urge to interrupt her.

“When everything went down between you, Aiden, and me, I felt like I gained a boyfriend but lost my sister.”

I hold my hand out, and she places hers on top of mine before locking our fingers together.

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