Page 32 of My December Darling

Me

But Aiden hates LEGOs.

He used to tell me that his hands were too big, and his attention span too short for a hobby like that, so why the sudden change of heart?

Gabriela

Maybe he wants to spend time with Luke before he moves out?

Gabriela

The two of them have been acting all sentimental and extra needy lately.

My mom calls my name from the kitchen, so I tuck my phone into my pocket and head toward the Christmas music playing down the hall. My smile widens as the singer croons aboutmi burrito sabanero, and it expands to its limit as I check out the messy counters covered with supplies and ingredients for my grandma’scoquitorecipe.

Both of my parents hang out by the stove, with my mom holding out a spoon for my dad to taste-test her latest batch ofcoquito.

Mami looks over her shoulder. “Oh good. You’re awake.”

My dad glances at me from across the kitchen. “You woke up just in time.”

“What’s up?”

“Can you hold the bottles for me while I pour?” he asks while my mom continues stirring thecoquitomix in the pot.

My throat tightens as I nod. Empty glass bottles are lined up in a perfect row on the counter, with the one closest to the edge already set up with a funnel.

Mami leans forward to smell the mixture. “Está casi listo.”

“Huele a los que hacía mi mamá.”Dad’s eyes twinkle as he kisses Mami’s cheek.

The music. Thecoquito. The request to help my parents with a task that they always do together, reminding me of what I could have too—if I ever found the right person, that is.

The holidays always have a way of making people like me feel lonelier than usual, especially when we’re constantly being bombarded with holiday movies, TV commercials, and endless books waxing on about love, family, and the meaning of Christmas.

Do you expect to meet someone special with the amount of traveling you do?It’s hard enough to get into a routine, let alone fall in love. But when I think of permanently staying somewhere, I get cold feet. None of the places I’ve worked at felt quite right, but Lake Wisteria isn’t an option either if I want to meet someone special. After all, I tried that with Aiden and look where it got me.

I turn toward the counter, shut my eyes, and take a deep breath. The smells remind me of years spent running around the kitchen with Gabriela, tugging on our parents’ clothes while they worked in tandem to complete as manycoquitoorders as possible before Christmastime. My grandma had been selling the spiked holiday drinks long before we were born, so my parents have her operation down to a science.

A recipe card on the counter catches my eye, and with a shaky hand, I reach for it. The Martinez family’scoquitorecipe is written in my grandma’s recognizable chicken scratch, along with her famousshake it before you taste itadvice, which she wrote on every customer’s thank you card.

My entire chest aches as I trace over the words in her familiar scrawl. She was a constant boisterous presence in our home after she moved to Lake Wisteria to live with us, and the holidays always make me miss her a little extra.

“Cata?” Mami asks from behind me.

I take a deep, cleansing breath.“¿Qué?”

“¿Estás bien?”

“Si.”I carefully place the recipe card back on the counter facedown, so I no longer have to look at it, and get to work.

My mom might sense something is off, but thankfully, she doesn’t ask about it.

Then why do you feel so heavy whenever you think about her not pushing to make sure you’re okay?

Sometimes, I wish my mom would try a little harder with me, but instead, she always gives up at the first sign of adversity. With Gabriela, she bends over backward to be everything my sister needs and more, but when it comes to me, she seemed to have given up years ago, and in many ways, I did too.

“Gracias, mi hija.” My dad releases me from his crushing hug before exiting the kitchen, leaving me all alone with my mom.

---