Page 160 of A Little Complicated

“Not everything is up to you, Ophelia.”

“You’re right,” I concede. “But you’re my best friend, Archer, and even though I screwed up by takingboyfriend Archerfor granted, I refuse to losebest friend Archertoo.”

The weight in my words does its job, and his head falls forward. “Ophelia…”

I turn around, sit on the top stair leading to the vast backyard, and pat the space beside me. “Please?” I beg. “Five minutes. I promise.”

Grudgingly, he lets go of the railing and sits next to me.

I give him a smile and bump my shoulder against his. “Do you remember when we were kids and I would always say, ‘Secrets, secrets are no fun, secrets are for everyone?’”

He nods.

“Well, as your best friend, I was wrong to keep so many secrets from you, and you deserve to hear them from the source, aka me, if we have any hope of our friendship making it through the clusterfuck I created. So.” I take a deep breath. “I’m going to tell you a story, and you’re going to listen to the whole thing. Deal?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Obviously, the answer’s no, you do not have a choice,” I joke, hoping it’ll lighten the mood, but the same downturn of his lips is all I get in return. Sitting up a little straighter, I clear my throat, forcing myself to continue. “Once upon a time, there was a princess named Ophelia.”

“You hate princesses.”

“Will you let me finish?” I quirk my brow, and he presses his lips together. Satisfied, I continue, “Ophelia grew up with two amazing princes who were twins. Okay, one of them was amazing, the other one was an ass for a little while, but I’ll get there,” I clarify. “These two brothers were opposites in every way. At first, both of them loved pulling Ophelia’s pigtails and telling her she sucked at hockey, but it didn’t take long until Prince Archer started looking out for her. He was kind and gentle and patient and every other swoon-worthy description regularly used to describe a knight in shining armor.” His mouth lifts, but he doesn’t comment. “The other brother, however, was sarcastic and competitive and loved driving Ophelia crazy.”

“Sounds about right,” he mutters.

I smile softly, attempting to squash the blossoming hope in my chest because if we don’t make it through this, it’ll break me. “Anyway, Ophelia befriended the first brother almost instantly. She loved his tenderness. His protectiveness. The way he was always there for her whenever she needed him most. They became almost inseparable, and she could tell him anything, knowing her secrets were safe with him. However, there was one secret she was afraid to tell, and it wasn’t because she didn’t trust him, it’s because…” I hesitate, licking my lips. “I think in a way, she knew it would hurt him. He was her safe space. Her protector. And she was…she wanted to be young and irresponsible and reckless. And the knight didn’t need any of those things. He was too busy building his future, and man, was he good at it.” His lips lift again, but he stays quiet and stares at his lap. “So…she fell in love with his sarcastic—and sometimes annoying—brother, the jester. And she fell hard,” I add with a laugh of disbelief. “Last year, the princess and the jester started seeing each other in secret. She didn’t tell a soul. Not even her knight.” Sobering, I grab Archer’s knee and squeeze. “Looking back, Ophelia wishes she would’ve told her knight because she thinks it would’ve saved him a lot of heartache in the end. Instead, she kept it a secret because she was terrified of the fallout, scared she was being stupid for opening her heart to a silly jester who was known for being spontaneous and…not one for settling down. One day, the jester broke her heart the night of a very big, very fancy ball, like a small part of the princess knew he might. The princess was broken, obviously, and the jester stole a few pieces of her heart, taking the shards with him as he escaped to a far-off land.”

“Lia,” Archer starts, but I shake my head.

“Sh. Let me finish.” Resting my head against Archer’s shoulder, I say, “When her knight found out she’d be missing the ball, he came to the rescue in an instant. He was sweet and kind and every other swoon-worthy description regularly used to describe a knight in shining armor, just like before.” I lift my head and smile at him. “And this time, the princess embraced it, wanting to feel happy. She wanted his warmth and his kindness, and he gave it to her willingly. She loved this knight, Archer. I promise you, she did. But the jester still owned a piece of the princess’s stupid heart. Even if he didn’t know it. Even if she refused to admit it to herself. He still had a hold on her.”

“Lia,” Archer repeats. It’s pained and tortured.

“I’m almost done,” I promise, threading my arm through his and squeezing his bicep tightly. “A little while later, the knight took the princess back to his kingdom at LAU. She loved spending time with him when he wasn’t away, but the jester? He was there too. And it didn’t matter how hard he tried to keep his distance from the princess. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to keep her distance from him. They were drawn to each other, and I’m afraid there wasn’t anything they could do about it. Nothing could keep them apart, and trust me, they tried.”

“Enough with the story, Lia.”

“I—” I lick my dry lips again and sit up. “You’re right. I just…I need you to know I love you, Archer, and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you were caught in the crosshairs of a very messy situation. But you’re my best friend, and we knew even if it didn't work out between us, we still wanted to keep our friendship, remember? I know I’m the one in the wrong. You really are perfect,” I repeat. “And I know it’s selfish, but I need you. I’ll always need you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you. But this thing with Maverick and me… I’m afraid it isn’t going anywhere, and despite knowing I don’t deserve it, I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to come between you and your brother, and I don’t want to have to choose.” My voice cracks, and I close my eyes, begging, “Please don’t make me choose.”

“You want me to support your relationship with my brother?”

I nod, forcing myself to hold his sad gaze as the sun hangs high in the sky. “Yeah. And I know I don’t deserve it. I know Maverick doesn’t deserve it. But I’d give anything to have your support, Arch. I still love you. I do. I will love you forever, and there isn’t a single thing on this earth that will change that.”

“Ophelia—”

“Now, I know there are different kinds of love,” I clarify. I’m rambling, I know I am, but part of me is terrified this’ll be the last time he talks to me. The last time I have a chance to state my case and fight for his brotherandmy best friend in the same breath. The last time I’ll have the opportunity to fix this. To fix us. “And I know sometimes those different kinds of love are hard to tell apart or whatever, but I love you, and instead of dissecting it until I’m blue in the face, I only want to say, when I picture my life, you’re in it, and so is your brother. It’s that simple. Okay?” I kiss his cheek. “I love you, and I’m really hoping you’ll forgive me.” I sniff. “Pleaseforgive me.”

He stays quiet, probably overanalyzing my word vomit like he usually does. Then, he closes his eyes and rests his cheek against the crown of my head as we face the back lawn. I have so many memories here. When we’d pull out the slip ‘n’ slide and squirt dish soap all over it. When we’d play Hide and Seek and Truth or Dare. When he’d comfort me after a bad game, or I’d give him girl advice after a crappy date.

So many memories.

I don’t know how long we sit like this, but the silence is nice. Soothing almost. And he isn’t pushing me away. That counts for something. Honestly, it counts for more than he knows.

Maybe we can fix this.

Maybe we can get through this.

“I really do love you,” I repeat.

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