Page 150 of A Little Complicated

“They deserve—”

“I know what they deserve,” he grits out. “They deserve a healthy son. A healthy brother. They deserve grandchildren and nieces and nephews. Just like how you deserve a husband who can give you kids and stability and a fucking future.”

“No one can guarantee the future, Mav.”

“Says the girl obsessed with hers,” he counters with a sad smile, pushing my hair away from my forehead. I grab his wrist and lean into his touch on my cheek.

“Wanna know something crazy?” he whispers.

I nod.

“Most people never find out about their diagnosis with HCM.”

My breath hitches. “What?”

“Most people never even know.”

I pull away from him again but stay seated in his lap in the middle of the dark room while the world continues spinning around us.

“They just what?” I ask. “Drop dead one day when their heart stops working?”

I take in his strong jaw and how his molars grind as he stares over my shoulder at nothing at all. His hair is messy, but otherwise, he looks fine. Healthy as ever. Gorgeous. Untouchable. Like a Greek god. A workhorse. An athlete who has his entire career ahead of him. Orwould’ve, if he hadn’t quit.

Slowly, Maverick’s head bobs in a single nod. “Sometimes I wonder if it’d be easier that way. To not know.”

“How can you say that?” I breathe out.

His eyes slice to mine, and the sadness swirling in the navy blue depths kills me. “Because if I didn’t find out, we’d still be together, Goose. I would’ve taken you to prom. I would’ve told you I love you. I would’ve claimed you in front of both our families.” His chest heaves, and he sniffs quietly. “I would’ve had a future with you.”

A future.

Our future.

“This is why you broke up with me,” I realize as everything clicks into place. “Because you found out about y-your condition.”

All this time, all this heartache, all this questioning. None of it would’ve happened if he’d never received his diagnosis. If he’d never pushed me away all because he was trying to protect me. My house blurs around me as I press my fingers to my temple and attempt to calm my unsteady pulse, no matter how useless it is.

“It’s not a condition, Opie.” Maverick’s forehead falls to mine. “It’s a death sentence.”

“You broke up with me because you were scared.”

“I broke up with you because you deserve more than tying your future to mine.”

“So instead, you let me tie it to your brother’s.”

His jaw tightens until he forces the muscles to ease and murmurs, “I tried to.”

“Why would you do that if you still cared about me?”

“Because I felt guilty,” he growls. “Istillfeel guilty for wanting to build a life with you while knowing I won’t be there to help see it to fruition. You always talk about your future, Ophelia. With me, you don’t have one. Only an expiration date hanging over our heads without knowing when it’ll hit.”

“Don’t say that,” I beg.

“But it’s true.” He squeezes my hips and tugs me closer. “And it makes me feel helpless, Lia. I’ve been trying to talk to you since you let me touch you behind the house. Trying to figure out a way to tell you I’m a selfish sonofabitch who wants you anyway. Despite the expiration date. Despite the complications. Despite my own fucking brother being in love with you. I want you. All of you. For a day. A week. A year. I love you, and I want you. I know I can’t be your forever, but I’m begging you to be mine.” He brings his hands to my cheeks and frames my face, his eyes desperate. “Please?”

He wants me. He wants me for as long as he can have me. For as long as he’s still on this earth. He wants me to be his forever.

Stupid man. I’ve always been his forever, and we would’ve had so much more of it if he’d have simply opened up to me instead of pushing me away.

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