Page 44 of The Christmas Wife

The two front legs of the chair land on the ground with a thump, "Hitched? What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Your last-minute plan that you don’t know about yet." Edward stabs a finger at me, "If you’re planning on doing it, Ineed a little notice. I have a life too, you know. I can’t always drop everything and put in an appearance to marry you guys, you know?—?

"Wait, what?" I run a finger under the collar of my shirt. "You lost me there."

"A million?" Arpad asks Damian.

"Money is beginning to lose its appeal," Damian grumbles.

"You wankers," I growl, "the fuck are you all betting on?"

"We need to up the odds," Arpad replies, as if he didn’t hear me. What a tosser.

I grip my phone with such force that my fingers hurt. "Shut the fuck up, you bitches."

"It’s happening, all right. You see how he’s losing his shit, huh?" Arpad continues.

"What do you suggest?" Damian talks over me, "Wanna play with something a little more personal?"

"What do you have in mind?" Arpad rubs his jaw. "Property? Shares…" He snaps his fingers, "I have it."

"What you thinking of, dipshit?" Damian drawls.

"If he gets married, accept the gift I send you."

"Ooh, thanks darling, for thinking of me," Damian deadpans.

Arpad grimaces, "Cut that shit out. You won’t be laughing when you see what is it."

"A woman?" He waggles his eyebrows, "A hot honey, no doubt. Why would I refuse it, huh?"

"You on then?" Arpad asks.

"And if he doesn’t?" Damian jerks his chin at me.

"I’m here, you bitches."

"Oh, he will." Arpad smirks, "I present to you exhibit A… Also known as, the man who has no idea that he’s counting his last few days of freedom."

"Newsflash, you toffs, I ain’t planning on giving up my bachelor status anytime soon, and PS," I growl, "you can’t go around placing bets involving the lives of others."

Damian’s gaze widens, "Since when has Mr. Obnoxious here, developed a conscience?"

“Since he’s the one about whom such bets are being placed?” Edward offers.

"Since he decided to shack up with her?" Arpad replies.

"I am not shacking up with her, you reprobates," I snarl.

"The two of you...in a cabin...in the middle of nowhere…" Arpad waggles his eyebrows.

"It’s four hours from London," I remind them again.

"Wait until it snows," Edward chimes in… "I am not marrying you in a remote ceremony."

"For the final time," I jump up from my chair so fast, it crashes back, "I’m not getting married. She just happens to be here, and I’m putting the time with her to good use."

"No doubt," Damian says with a straight face. "If that’s the story you’re going with."

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