Page 397 of The Christmas Wife

"It was."

"You have no idea," he says in that voice that has more than a hint of darkness to it.

A ripple of heat squeezes my belly. "You mean, that was the beginner’s level introduction to smutty sex?"

"I mean, that was the pre-kindergarten level introduction to my depravity."

"Oh." I know my mouth is open and that I’m staring at him, but it’s the first time we’ve had an open conversation about something… So what, if it’s about his perversions.

"So you have, uh…different tastes, but you haven’t been with a woman since..."

“Since I left to go traveling, two years ago.”

“You...you haven’t been with a woman in two years?” I stare.

He merely stares at me.

"But you go to the BDSM club."

"And as you’ve experienced firsthand, I don’t have to ejaculate in order to indulge my debaucheries."

Oh, my god!The heat in my stomach expands into a full-blown forest fire, which instantly spreads to my extremities. My lower belly clenches, and I squeeze my thighs together to tamp down on the yawning emptiness.

"For someone who was a virgin until a week ago, you sure relish the dirty talk," he murmurs.

"Only when it’s you doing the dirty talking."

He chuckles, then seems to realize what he’s done, for he wipes all expression from his face.

"It’s okay to laugh and smile and cry and show emotion. You are human, after all."

"And it’s because I allowed myself to be human, because I chose to give in to my emotions, that I'm here today."

A hot sensation stabs into my chest. It’s as if he’s plunged a burning rod into my heart. He seems to realize what he’s said, for he scowls. "I didn’t mean?—"

"Yes, you did. You’re regretting that you married me."

"Not for the reasons you think."

"So youdoregret marrying me."

He steps on the accelerator and the car speeds up. "I never regret my actions."

"Expect the time you gave in to your emotions and lost the woman you loved."

Tell me you don’t love her. Tell me you love me. You said it earlier; just say it aloud again.

But he doesn’t. The muscles at his jaw line flex, but he stays silent, focuses on the driving. In another ten minutes, we drive up in front of his townhouse.

We stay in the car; the silence stretches, then he states, "I’m not the man you think I am." His voice is emotionless. "I’m not a knight in shining armor. I’m not Prince Charming."

"No, you’re the beast, the villain. You're Hades, and Severus Snape, and Loki, rolled into one."

"Severus Snape?" He frowns.

"Point is, the darkness in you is what I find so attractive."

His jaw tightens. "You don’t know what you’re talking about."

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