Page 377 of The Christmas Wife

"I had my reasons." I set my jaw.

"And have you shared them with anyone?"

I glance away.

"Thought not. It’s not healthy to go through life without sharing what happened with someone else."

"Baron knows what happened." I swallow. It’s difficult to talk about the man who was my best friend once without that familiar pit opening up in my belly. I thought I’d gotten over what happened, but the ghosts were merely lying in wait under the surface.

"Have you spoken to him or Ava since you returned to London?"

When I don’t reply, his forehead creases. "You have to meet them at some point."

"Not if I can help it."

"We move in the same circles. He’s one of the Seven; it’s unavoidable."

"I’ve managed to avoid them this far."

"You can’t do it forever," Sinclair points out.

"I don’t see why not."

He sighs again. "Perhaps, being married will help you move on."

If being torn apart inside is how it feels to do so, then I’m not so sure.

"It will get better, Edward." He puts a hand on my shoulder.

If it were anyone else but Sinclair, I’d shake it off. But after I decided to limit my interactions with Baron and Ava, I ended up spending more time with him. The rest of the Seven are busy with their wives and families, and while they went through the same experience as Sinclair and I did, there’s always been a kinship between us because Sinclair, like me, has other demons to deal with.

"They have a child." I swallow.

There, I’ve said it aloud. It’s the first time I’ve acknowledged it to myself. I want Ava and Baron to be happy. I wish them well—I do—but when I found out Ava was pregnant, it gutted me. That’s when I realized I might not get over what happened for a long time. That’s when I knew every time I felt I was healing, it was merely my emotions lying in wait to ambush me again. That’s when I vowed to find myself a new focus. Something to channel all my energies into, so I could occupy my every waking moment with something other than my past.

I need to move on. I know that, and the only thing that seems to help has been throwing myself into something bigger than me. First, as the General Manager of the London Ice Kings, and now, as CEO of the Davenport group. It’s a temporary solution, but if it helps me move forward, I’m not complaining. It’s also why this marriage is important. It’s the only way for me to ensure Arthur hands over the decision-making power to me.

"I know you’re hurting Ed, and I wish you didn’t hide it. It’s not healthy for you."

I snort. "You’re beginning to sound like one of those new-age self-help gurus."

"And you’re ignoring the obvious."

"Which is?"

"You need her, Edward, more than you realize."

21

Mira

"You ready?" Gio looks at me closely.

I tighten my grip around the bouquet, Rachel—the wedding planner—thrust into my fingers.

"I hope you don’t mind that we worked with your soon-to-be grandfather to pull this wedding together overnight?" Summer asks softly.

My friends are standing with me in the guest room we took over. After G-Pa’s announcement, things were out of my hands. Karma whisked me here, with my friends in tow. I was helped out of my clothes and into the gown that Karma had chosen and altered to fit my measurements, so it was ready for me in less than twenty-four hours.

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