Page 317 of The Christmas Wife

Heat flushes my cheeks. I lower my hands to my sides then tip up my chin. “You forgot to say I’m a fixer; it’s what I do best. What better use of my talent than to fix my past. I covered up the fact that Olly was my child like it was a dirty secret.” My heart squeezes in my chest. My guts churn. “I am a terrible person. I wiped out all existence of my own son. What mother does that?”

“You did what you thought was right. You did what it took to survive. You loved your son. It’s evident in how you talk about him. You tried your best to take care of him. You’re not to blame for what happened to him.”

I chuckle. “Don’t go making me out to be something I’m not. Have you forgotten that I didn’t tell you about Olly? That I broke the news of him to the press without doing you the courtesy of telling you first?”

“Olly was your secret to tell, when you thought it was the right time. And you did it before you lost your nerve.” His gaze softens.

There’s so much understanding on his face. So much love. So much everything. The pressure behind my eyes builds. My heart feels like it’s going to burst. "I... I could have told you first, when we were on our own.” I choke out, “I’m a bad person. You deserve better, Hunter.”

He leans forward on the balls of his feet. His blue-green eyes turn that stormy shade of green I now know means he’s pissed off. And he has reason to be. If I were in his shoes, I’d break off all relations with me right now. I tip up my chin, and the groove between his eyebrows deepens.

He finally says, "I know what you’re doing here."

"Oh?"

He nods. "You think because you sprang that surprise on me, and in front of the media, I’m going to call off our relationship. But you’re wrong."

I blink. "I… I am?"

He walks over, then squats down in front of me. "You forget how tenacious I am, Fire. I didn’t come this far, only to walk away from you over something that happened in your past."

I jut out my chin. "I kept a lot of things from you, Hunter. I didn’t tell you I had a child, that I was a teenage mother of a special needs boy who died because I couldn’t care for him."

"You did your best."

A tear squeezes out from the corner of my eye. "You have no idea what I did or didn’t do."

He leans forward and scoops up the trail of moisture from my cheek. "In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never—not once—shirked your responsibilities." He brings his moist finger to his lips and sucks on his digit, and my heart feels like it’s going to burst.

"You take time out to volunteer with children." He holds my gaze.

"It’s nothing."

"You give them your time. It’s not like you write a check and forget about it. That means something." He takes my hand in his. I try to pull away, but he tightens his hold on me. "You’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty. I know how you’ve supported your friends when they’ve needed you, how you’ve given your best to each of your clients and helped them through situations which would have caused anyone else to lose their nerve. But not you, Zara. You face each challenge head on and come out on top. I’m proud of you."

The hot sensation behind my eyes intensifies. "I didn’t tell you I was pregnant."

"I knew."

My jaw drops, again. The number of times this man has taken me by surprise is almost as many times as I have tried to pull the rug out from under him…and failed. "You mean?—?"

"You refused champagne the last two times. Also?—"

"The bug in my mobile phone." I slump into the sofa. "Of course, you knew."

"I’m sorry I spoiled your surprise." He quirks his beautiful lips and a slow fire ignites low in my belly.

"I should be the one saying I’m sorry. I should have told you everything—about being pregnant, about Olly. All of it. It’s just" —I glance away, then back at him— "it was all too much for me to process. It was such a shock to find out I was pregnant.”

He rises to his feet, then sits down next to me. "You should have let me be there for you."

"I’ve been having morning sickness the last few weeks, so I had a strong suspicion I was pregnant. The test was merely a formality, but seeing that pink line—for the second time in my life—I’m afraid it brought back memories."

He wraps his arm about my shoulders and pulls me close. "I’m sorry you had to go through it alone."

I allow myself to relax against him, muscle by muscle. "I wanted to do it at my own pace. I kept putting off taking a pregnancy test, until I couldn’t put it off anymore. And when I saw the positive test this morning, I needed some time to get my head around it all. That’s why I knew I had to go to the school and spend time with some of my favorite people."

"The kids."