Page 168 of The Christmas Wife

"Eeyugh," I make a gagging sound, "I left myself open to that, didn't I? Will I never learn?" I groan.

"It's too easy to tease you." He steps closer, "You're the jam to my cookie; the pumpkin to my pie, the chocolate in my toffee."

"Thought you hated chocolate?" I swallow.

He bridges the distance between us, draws me to him, "That's what I thought too." He searches my face, "But then I tasted you and?—"

"And?" I whisper.

"I realized it was missing an ingredient."

"Which is?"

He lowers his face to mine. His breath mixes with mine, our eyelashes tangle, our feet bump, he parts his lips, and the doorbell rings again.

"It's Julia," I groan. "I have to get the door."

50

Weston

She twists her body. My grasp loosens and she pulls away, then pivots and scrambles for the door.

"You," I mutter to the empty room, "it was you that I missed."

Jesus, fuck, can you hear yourself? Did you just confess that you were incomplete without her?Was I? How much do I need her in my life? Could I go on without her? A future without her would be...bleak, dull, no patches of color, no scent of complex notes, no flavors that beckon and open up my senses. Without her... I am less than half the man I could be... I rub the back of my neck. What the fuck? What just happened? Why is my heart thumping? The blood pounds at my temples and my shoulder muscles knot.

Without her... There is no future... There is no me... Bloody hell. I rotate my head, dig my fingers into my hair and tug on it. I can't leave here without her, no way. I don't know what the future holds, but if I don't keep her close... I'll never have a chance of finding out either. As long as she is with me... I stand a chance, at having everything I didn't even know I had wanted...She makes me chuckle, lightens the load I've carried alone for so long. I want her by my side, in my house, in my bed. My ring on her finger, her hand in mine, her body writhing under me as I bury myself inside of her, as I try to tame her, hold her down and fuck her, as I open myself up to her and claim her. I am going to chain her to my side in a way that she'll never leave. I have to do it. Have to get her to see things my way. That her future is mine, that I am her future, that she is my... Everything.

The band around my chest tightens and a ball of emotions fills my throat. A pressure builds behind my eyes, fuck... This...this thing that tears me apart inside and twists my guts, that buries its weight in my stomach, knots my insides and coils in my chest...dries up my throat and hardens my balls. It has to be... It has to be...fucking love. I grab my hair and tug on it. I'd said it out loud earlier, but I'd shrugged it off as something you say in the heat of the moment. But this...this gasping for breath, this sensation of my heart having been scooped out of my body, this nervousness inside of me that grows and grows, even as a desperation tightens my skin, my shoulders, my spine... All of it points to the fact that I am a fucking goner. I am in love... Bloody fuck, I am... And there's nothing I can do about it. My heart begins to pound so hard against my rib cage, I am sure I must be having a cardiac... Except I know I am not... It's the emotional shock causing my palms to sweat. My thigh muscles bunch. I lower my hand, not surprised to find that my fingers are shaking. I stalk out of the bedroom into the tiny living room space.

She faces Julia, who offers her a coffee from the takeaway tray. "I don't want to impose," she mutters.

Amelie curls both of her palms around the paper cup. "It's no imposition," she says.

"No, it isn't," I agree.

Both women turn to me.

Amelie frowns.

Julia tilts her head. "We haven't met, I'm Julia," she says.

I walk forward, halt next to Amelie, "I'm Amelie's boyfriend." Yep, I am well and truly pussy whipped. Since when had my identity become secondary to my position in her life, eh?

Amelie draws in a breath.

Julia smiles. "Good to meet you, Amelie's boyfriend." She holds out the tray of coffee.

"Thank you." I accept one of the cups, swig from it. Damn, but why couldn't it contain a shot of whiskey, at the very least? I suck down more of the coffee.

"You two been dating long?" she asks.

"Yes," I reply.

"No." Amelie shoots me a glance, her gaze narrowed.

"Long enough for me to ask her to move in with me." I smile.

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