Page 134 of The Christmas Wife

Amelie

"How dare he do this?" I mumble under my breath.How dare he tell me that he doesn’t want me, doesn’t want a future with me? Get over it; get over him.Every time he’s pushed me away, I’ve returned to him. Like an ant attracted to sugar, like cream on milk, like jelly on the floor—gah, stop. Even my metaphors are beginning to sound pathetic.Just leave, before he hurts you further. Pulls away at any final shred of self-respect you have left, before he destroys your confidence completely.

"Did you say something?" Kirsten asks me from her perch on the chair opposite me. We are in the waiting room of the hospital in Durham, where the ambulance had taken Rosie.

I’d seen Liam deck Weston, had seen him crumple to the ground, had lost my shit and run to him, then had ridden with him in the second ambulance to the hospital.

Once the doctors had confirmed that he was going to be okay, I had turned to leave, but Kirsten had stopped me. She’d insisted I stay with them while they waited for the ‘all clear’ from the surgeon so they could visit with Rosie.

"I think I should leave." I turn to her, "This is a family matter."

"You are family," she insists. "My asshole brother may not see it yet, but he loves you."

"Does he?" I chuckle, but it’s completely devoid of humor. "He has a funny way of showing it."

She searches my features; her own soften. She takes my hand in hers, "Sweetheart, I understand how upset you must be with his behavior. I have no words to apologize for god-knows-what-all he’s said and done to you. All I can say is, please be patient with him."

"You think I’d be here otherwise?" I swallow. "Only, I’m not sure it’s helping."

"Oh, it is, more than you can imagine." She hesitates, "You’re the first woman he’s brought home. Ever."

"Oh." I swallow, "I… I am…?" My heart begins to beat faster. Does it mean anything? Does it? No.

"That was part of the pretense." I say. "So he could show you all that he intended to settle down. After all, he needs to get married to claim his inheritance, right?"

"Only he doesn't need the money," Kirsten points out. "He's rich enough, not to mention successful enough, in his own right."

"That's true." I admit. "But it doesn't negate that he asked me to pose as his fake girlfriend. Why did he have to boil down the attraction between us to that? Why did he have to turn it into something so...transactional?"

"He can’t seem to stop destroying what’s dearest to him." Kirsten smiles at me, but it’s a sad smile. She holds my hand between her palms.

"Tell me about it," I choke out. "I’ve tried; I really have. When it comes to him, I seem to have some self-destructive tendencies of my own."

"The chemistry between the two of you..." She fans herself, "Honestly, it’s off the charts. I see the way he follows you around with his eyes, like he wants to eat you up."

I redden. "Is it that obvious?"

"You have no idea." Her lips quirk. "It’s different, it’s special, it’s something that’s not easy to come by… Maybe once in a lifetime, even."

"You think I don’t know that?" I tug on my hand and she releases it. I drag my fingers through my hair. Shit, somewhere during the last few hours, my hair had loosened from the chignon I’d pulled it into. Bet I look a sight, to match how I am feeling inside—beaten, broken, sad… Hell. This isn’t why I had left London. This is not what I had bargained for when he’d walked into the cabin naked, swept into my life like a freshly baked baguette which I couldn’t keep away from. OMFG, that’s it then. That last metaphor... Hell, why does it remind me about certain parts of him which are as beautifully endowed? As thick... As gorgeous to put my mouth on. I rise to my feet.

Kirsten glances up at me. "Where are you going?"

"I… I can’t do this." I swallow, "You understand, don’t you? If I want to come out of this with even some small part of me intact, I need to go." I turn to leave.

"It’s the incident," her voice follows me.

I pause, then turn to her. "So I am told," I say.

"You said he mentioned it to you, but has he told you what they did to him?" she queries.

I shake my head.

"Maybe you should ask him."

"Maybe," I tilt my head, "maybe not." Maybe I’ve had enough of Weston and his entire family—much as I have come to like them, Kirsten especially, and the kids, and hell, even his mother… She’s something—formidable, strong, a true matriarch who holds them together. For good or bad, they are a unit. Theyfight and hate each other, and when there is a crisis like this, they come together too. They have each other’s backs.

Something I’ve never had. I’m not part of a family; I have my own, but I’ve never belonged there. Is that why I had wanted to start a company, a business of my own? To create a family, of sorts? Is that what has driven me thus far? Had I sensed that about Weston, and was that one of the reasons I had been attracted to him. That and his gorgeous, beautiful dick, of course, and that caring demeanor of his, which he hides so bloody well. If it had not been for Max, and how he’d taken care of his nieces… Or how he’d been toward his mother, hell, I’d have missed that completely. All in all… It is time to put this behind me, to go home to the future I would build for myself.

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