Page 5 of In Her Arms

Esme nodded and Cameron gave Nora a sideways look as she sipped her coffee.

“What I’m saying is that you need to put up a little mental block in your head where you would normally get mad at people for saying stupid, out-of-touch things. Sure, you can get mad—please don’t repress yourself—but know that in a few weeks when this is all over, you’ll be able to move on with your life. Trust me, in twenty years time, you’ll be telling this story like it’s the funniest thing in the world.”

“I guess you’re right,” Cameron said. “Still, that won’t make right now any easier. She’s so demanding, but Deborah hooked me up and I wouldn’t let her down.”

“Oh, trust me, I know all about demanding clients. They’re all hiding something. A couple years ago, before I ever came to L.A., I was working on developing an ice hockey stadium,” Nora began and talked at length about planning permission and sponsorships.

Cameron loved her, she really did, but it was far too early for that kind of talk. Nora was very good at development, and she had in-depth knowledge of the industry that she assumed other people would pick up on automatically. It was too much jargon for a layperson to understand.

Instead, Cam took notice of the way Esme and Nora interacted. They were no longer newlyweds, and it seemed like time had just strengthened their relationship instead of pushing them apart. They were open and affectionate with each other, especially in the Lounge. Even on busy days, they would make affectionate eye contactacross the room, the kind that held entire silent conversations in their own language. On quiet nights, you would see Nora at the bar having a drink with Esme while she cleaned glasses, making small talk and smiling fondly.It was clear to anybody who saw them that their love was all-consuming. Now, Nora wrapped an arm around Esme’s waist and gave her a kiss on the cheek while she talked.

Had Cameron ever been that openly affectionate with a partner? She thought back to her most recent relationship, which had lasted about a month. No, she realized, she really hadn’t been at all. She thought back to the relationship before that, and, again, she found that she hadn’t had any sort of PDA at all. Any affection between them had been kept private, out of public view, and the relationship had only lasted for a couple of weeks. The idea of a gesture of affection, however small, seemed alien to her. She had, for the most part, private, whirlwind, romantic, filthy flings. They had been mostly sex and pillow talk with no promises of the future or security, but they had meantsomething…hadn’t they?

She had been on a handful of proper dates over the course of her life, and sure, while she hated stuffy, formal environments, she quietly wished for something more intense than a hookup after a night of dancing. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, she reminded herself, but she genuinely didn’t think she was built for anything longer than a few weeks. She knew she was...good—there was only so long you could deny that for—and Holly hadn’t been wrong that night at the Lounge. She did have a little bit of a reputation. That part was certainly unintentional, though, and it had been a bit of a stain on her social life. The people who knew her well clearly knew her intentions, but the way this had been spread around meant that every so often she would see a group of women staring at her, turning to whisper to each other. It stung.

Esme and Nora were obviously completely and utterly in love with each other, and they made that love known in the smallest ways. The touch of a hand or an arm, silent help when the otherwas busy, fond smiles when they thought nobody was looking. Cameron had seen it all.

That was what she wanted.

This was a startling revelation to come to at eight in the morning, but it was probably as good a time as any, she thought. She wanted love. Not a hookup, not a whirlwind relationship that ended in heartbreak. Long-term, dedicated, till-death-do-us-part love. She wasn’t sure she was built for it, which was terrifying, but she couldn’t ignore it anymore. It would be difficult with people whispering about her, but she wanted to fight for it.

She turned back to Nora, who was still talking.

“Anyway, that’s the last time I agree to hold a press conference on an ice skating rink. Seriously, I can’t believe he came up with the idea, only to blame me!”

“It’s terrible. It really is,” Esme replied. “Cam, if she asks you to help organize a press conference on a rink?—”

“Say no, gotcha,” Cameron said, laughing. They led such interesting lives, and the stories never got old.

“So, what’s your plan for today, Cam?” asked Nora.

“I’m gonna head home for a few hours, maybe take a shower, and I’ll be back at the shoot this evening.” She downed the rest of her coffee, the sweet caramel flavor a welcome treat after an early start. Yesterday, she had finished work at two p.m. then called back in for a night shoot that had lasted until about five this morning. She had known Esme would be up early, so as the sun rose, she had walked to Indigo Lounge, knowing that when she knocked on the back door, she would be let in. Now, she had gotten all she needed.

Except for sleep. What she really needed was sleep.

“Cameron,” Nora said, “if for whatever reason the job isn’t for you, let us know when you’ve put your notice in. We’ll give you a few extra shifts here to make up the money.”

“Nora, no?—”

“Cameron, I insist. If you need the money, we would be more than happy to look after you. You know that.”

Cameron couldn’t help but smile. Nora hadn’t known her for as long as Esme had, but it was clear that they both really cared about her. It was sweet, knowing she had a chosen family she could turn to if she needed anything.

“Nora, I really appreciate the offer, I do, thank you. Money’s not the issue actually.”

“No, it is not,” added Esme, looking at Nora with raised eyebrows. Nora raised her eyebrows back, before turning to Cameron.

“I’m mostly living off of a distant relative’s inheritance. It’s a funny story, actually, but I got most of the contents of her will, even though I’d never met her. I made my way out here to L.A. looking for something to do after I got sick of lazing around and wandered in here. Ez ended up sticking me behind the bar, and I’ve been helping her ever since. She pays me for the longer shifts, but honestly, I don’t see this as a job so much as an excuse to help out.”

“Charity bar work? I can’t believe my ears,” Nora said incredulously. Esme laughed.

“It’s not charity!” Cameron insisted, knowing Esme would object. “I love it here, and even if I wasn’t working the bar, I would probably be sitting in the corner orannoying Ruby while she’s trying to write.”

“Alright, I trust you.” Nora seemed satisfied. “So you’re telling me you’re here for the greater good of the L.A. lesbian scene?”

Esme laughed again, a snort that made Cameron laugh too.

“Again, I’m not sure I’d describe it that way but—you know what, sure. I’m a rich lesbian messiah. I’m sure saying that will do great things for my ego.”

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