Page 36 of Cruel Alpha Daddy

I could just go. I could run right now and be back with Caleb in a few hours!

Immediately, the memory of my previous escape comes back to me. I look around anxiously, wondering where Tobias and his supporters might be. I can’t risk getting caught again. The last time was too close.

“Hey, Fiona!” someone calls from across the street. “Why don’t you come over for breakfast?”

Lilah is waving to me from out front of the hall. I turn away from the mountains reluctantly and walk over to her.

“Thank you,” I say. “I’m starved.”

“Well then, come on in!” she says, hoisting baby Todd on her hip. “We’ve been getting up early to make sure the entire pack is well-fed. It’s been a hard few days, but we’ve made so much progress.”

I follow Lilah into the hall and over to the back table to get some coffee. I look around carefully and can’t see any signs of technology—no phones, tablets, or TVs. There is an old radio in the corner crooning quietly, old songs playing through very beat-up speakers.

“So, just curious, why doesn’t anyone have phones or anything?” I ask, taking a sip of coffee.

Lilah scoffs. “The old alpha, Elton, he didn’t believe in technology. After he died, Jethro took that right to the wall. He started beating anyone who was hoarding a phone or device. He almost killed a guy for hiding a smartwatch.”

“How do you survive?” I ask, shocked. “You don’t have any way to communicate with the outside world?”

“We never wanted to,” Lilah says, sitting down with baby Todd and rocking him a little as another woman brings over a bottle for him. “All of us came here to escape the world, and it wasn’t difficult to agree with Jethro’s philosophy on tech. Violence and crime, on the other hand… well, obviously, we couldn’t get behind that.”

“Obviously,” I echo, sipping my coffee. “Do you plan to continue with this tradition?”

Lilah turns and smiles at me. “You’re the luna now. It’s really up to you!”

The words shock me a little, and the feeling of responsibility settles heavily on my shoulders. I didn’t ask for this, and I don’t know if I’m capable of helping lead a pack.

I have to try.

“Well, I think if we want to school the children, we’re going to need some devices,” I say. “It might be difficult to get them into an official school, but there are a lot of curriculums online that we can use.”

“It’s been at least three years since I did any doom-scrolling,” Lilah laughs. “Before I met Donny and got pregnant with Todd, I was homeless on the street. I sold my phone so I could get some decent winter clothes and a sleeping bag.”

I knew that there were people who lived like this. I just never really understood.

“Would you like to hold Todd?” Lilah asks me suddenly. “He’s finished his bottle now, and he’s pretty sleepy if you’d like a snuggle.”

I look at Lilah, panic streaking through me. The idea of holding the tiny baby to my chest fills me with unimaginable pain.

“It’s okay,” she says, smiling. “I know it can be really hard if you’ve never held a baby before. It’s not scary, though. I promise.”

“I—”

“Oh, don’t be silly.” Lilah stands up, holding Todd out to me. “You’re going to make such a wonderful mother.”

I scurry away, blinking back tears. My pain splits my chest, making it feel like my heart is being ripped in two. I shake my head violently as I pull away, knocking over a chair and dropping my coffee cup.

Lilah watches me, a confused look on her face. I shake my head, wiping tears off my cheeks. She snuggles Todd back against her chest and nods very slowly.

She knows. She knows why I can’t hold him!

I take a few ragged breaths, trying not to sob. Lilah couldn’t possibly know about Caleb, but she does. I’m missing a child of my own so much, it’s too painful to hold someone else’s.

Mothers know. They just do.

Someone pats my arm gently, and I look up to see Jen, the old woman who performed the ceremony.

“You alright there, girly?” she asks.

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