Page 25 of Cruel Alpha Daddy

“Do you know why she was there?”

“No.”

“Nothing on your father?”

“No.”

Even though Rider’s face still looks fairly relaxed, I’m starting to feel like I’m grilling him, and I don’t like it.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m always here to listen.” The second the words leave my mouth, I feel terrible, because I’ve been trying to run away from him relentlessly.

Well. He did fucking kidnap me.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

I stroke his hand with my thumb, not wanting to let go of him but knowing that there is still a lot between us that has to be discussed. Even though I’ve been trying to escape, I know that part of me still wants him, and I will miss him every single day of my life if I have to leave.

Some of my old dreams flit through my mind. Right before Aunt Mabel died, I was thinking about finding a house for us, and I fantasized about our wedding all the time. The only future I could see was with Rider.

And I sure as hell didn’t picture myself barefoot and bloodied, wearing a homespun wool dress.

A sigh of pain eases out of me, and thoughts of Caleb are heavy in my mind. I miss him fiercely. I’m constantly being torn apart inside as I imagine him asking where I am. Lucy and the pack will care for him, so that’s not even an issue, but I haven’t been parted from my little boy since the day he was born.

Rider turns to look at me, and his big green eyes send a bolt of pain straight through me.

They are Caleb’s eyes. Every time I looked at my son, I saw Rider.

Conflict rages within me. Rider deserves to know he has a son. At the same time, he lives a lawless, violent life, and he isn’t a stable influence. Even though everything he’s told me explains a lot, and I have a lot of sympathy for him, none of it convinces me he will stay with me or with Caleb.

The pain of Rider walking out on me is as real as it was the day it happened, and I suddenly pull my hand away. The hurt inside me twists into anger.

“So, if you’re so scared of people leaving you, why did you leave me?” I blurt.

Rider jumps a little at my harsh words. He shakes his head. “I told you. The little picket-fence life literally scared the shit out of me. I can’t stay still like that.”

“You stayed still pretty well for a month or so in Delta. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? It was as if this is your entire gig—running around, finding vulnerable women, and making them fall for you so they will take care of you.”

“No, Fiona. I swear, I had never done that before.”

“Well, that’s how it felt. After you walked out, I started thinking about how many times you had done this. Life as a drifter must be easy when you can find lonely women to keep you in nice hotels.”

“Fiona, no, please—”

“No, you listen! You walked out on me when I needed you most. I have the utmost sympathy for you, and I understand you a lot more now, but you need to realize what you did to me. I never stopped hurting over it, Rider! I felt so used!”

Tears are bubbling up again now, and Rider turns to me, wiping them off my cheeks.

“I am truly, deeply sorry, Fiona,” he says. “I thought I was protecting you. Yes, I was afraid, and running for my own selfish reasons, but I also felt you could do much better and I should get out of the way.”

I turn my head, trying to suppress my tears. I believe him, but I don’t want to. The guilt of not telling him about Calebis starting to weigh heavily on me, and the more Rider reveals about himself, the worse it feels.

“We should probably address this kidnapping thing, too,” I say.

Rider sighs. “I didn’t kidnap you.”

“Technically, no. But you married me, and you’re keeping me prisoner.”

He groans, putting his face in his hand. “Look. They were going to tear you apart, right there in front of me. The only way to protect you was to claim you. Now I’m stuck between a big sharp rock and a nasty hard place because if I let you go, I’ll keep the peace with Bailey but get set on by Tobias. If I don’t let you go, I might be able to negotiate with Tobias, but I’ll lose my alliance with Silver Meadows.”

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