Page 130 of The Throne's Undoing

"I need this."

When Graeson cocked a brow, she kept her gaze steady, even.

Graeson, however, knew the truth. "You mean you need me to be your release?"

Her hand slipped across his neck. With a dangerous smile, she said with a shrug, "Semantics."

Closing his eyes, Graeson inhaled, his body tense beneath her touch. He was on thin ice, but these days, Graeson always was.

He knew what she wanted. But right now, she couldn't give him what he desired. Not fully. And while he would be happy with any piece she could give him, he didn't know if he should. Especially when going any further would not help her.

"Gray."

He shook his head, and her hand fell.

"So that's a no?" Kalisandre asked, her hands loosening and rejection flashing across her face.

"It's a no for now."

"For now?" Kalisandre repeated, her brows drawing together. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You have been through a lot over the past few weeks--"

Kalisandre flinched, taking a step back, and he knew he had made a mistake. But he didn't have a chance to explain before she was speaking over him.

"I've been through a lot over the past fewweeks?My whole life has been a lie, Graeson! I have been tricked and deceived. My mind has been warped and torn to pieces. I barely even know who I am anymore!"

"And that is precisely why we can't do this," he explained. He tried to grab her hand, but she snatched it away, turning around and splashing water around her. "Kal."

She spun around, pointing a finger at him. "Don't do that. Don'tKalme. I ask for one thing, one, and you can't even give me that? I just want a distraction--a distraction from all of this." Kalisandre rubbed her hands across her face, the heels of her palms grinding against her eyes. "I just want to feel in control for once!"

His jaw ticked. "I'm going to try not to take offense to what you just said."

"Offense?" she hissed. "Yourlife hasn't fallen apart. You haven't lost a crown or your family. You haven't lost your whole identity. Yet you're offended?"

He cracked his neck and stood. "I am not a distraction for you to use."

She huffed, folding her arms over her chest. "Really, Graeson? You're going to play that card right now? Why are we even here then?" she demanded.

Graeson raked his fingers through his hair. "Do not play this game with me right now, little mouse."

Kalisandre lifted her chin, and the god within marveled at her confidence. In the reflection of her eyes, he could see the god rearing its head as his eyes illuminated beneath the night sky. It was supposed to strike fear in the mortals beholden to that stare, but Kalisandre did not fear the man who stood before her.

More than anything else, she feared herself.

"And what if that's exactly what I want to do?" she asked with a dangerous smirk.

His gaze dipped down her body, and as it lingered over her skin, scanning every inch of her, Graeson could almost hear her heartbeat pick up.

When he locked gazes with her once more, he scoffed. "You don't even know what you want."

He turned and lifted himself out of the water, his biceps straining.

"We need to go back," he said as he swiped his clothes from the ground. "The others will get worried."

While Graeson could have stayed there for hours, he knew they were both only hiding from their responsibilities and the world.

They couldn't hide forever, though.