Page 111 of The Throne's Undoing

"He may have been my brother by blood, but he does not deserve to have my name tied to his, even in death." Kallie looked away and out toward the surrounding swamp.

Even after a few weeks, the putrid musk of the Tetrian lands was horrid. Someone had said she would get used to it after a few days once she became accustomed to it, but Kallie was beginning to think she never would.

Just like she would never get used to the void in her mind, the emptiness inside of her, or the echo that rang in her ears.

Graeson reached out then. The coarse pads of his fingers, worn by decades of training, were a foreign comfort she did not wish to feel. "That wasn't you, Kalisandre."

Kallie laughed, but the sound came out gravelly and hoarse. Through tear-stained eyes, she glared at him. "Isn't that the worst part? Itwasall me."

"No, it wasn't."

Kallie stabbed a finger into her chest. "I was the one who let you take me to Pontia. I was the one who let you welcome me into your home. I was the one who let Fynn believe he could trust me, who blocked him out at every turn. My mind was a fortress, one even your best mind reader could not break." Her sternum spiked with pain, her finger bruising, yet she pressed on. "That wasmydoing, despite how much you all claim it wasn't. I didn't even see the monster hiding inside me. The lies and deceit sinking into my veins. I am a master manipulator, and yet I didn't even realize that I was being manipulated the entire time. How is that not my fault?"

Graeson's thumb stroked her cheek. When he spoke, his voice was sincere, tender as his breath brushed her skin. "Domitius has tricked many. He has been five steps ahead of us."

Kallie swatted his hand away. "I tried to kill you!" she protested.

"And I doubt that will be the last time," Graeson said with a smirk that soon fell, replaced by an unamused expression. "But it does not dispute the fact that you are nothim."

Kallie leaned back, her bottom hitting the ground and her legs collapsing around her.

"You are in control of your mind now, Kalisandre," Graeson whispered. "He will never manipulate you again."

A shiver ran down her spine, sticky and slithering.

Kallie shifted and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them tightly to her chest. "I can still feel it, Graeson. I can still--"

He grabbed her shoulders, his grip tightening around her as he stared at her with fear and dread in his eyes. "What do you mean? I thought it...I thought it worked."

"It did," Kallie said. She blinked, and her brows drew together. "At least, I think it did, but that doesn't erase the memories."

Then, as the warmth from his hands pressed into her arms, the heat sinking into her body, panic rose in her throat. She stumbled backward, away from his grasp. Graeson reached for her, but Kallie shook her head.

"Don't...don't touch me," she whispered.

"Kal?" Graeson asked, pain coating his eyes.

"Don't," she said again, her voice quiet but stern. "I don't...I don't trust myself right now, and neither should you."

His head sank, strands of hair cascading in front of his eyes and masking his face in shadows. Then, he stood, his eyes burning silver as he extended a hand to her. "You will not hurt me, Kal."

His words were stone, solid and firm, but even the strongest castles crumbled.

"You do not know that." Kallie ignored his outstretched hand and stood. She spun on her heel and headed back to the castle, refusing to look back.

Chapter 37

MYRA

Laurince pacedin front of Myra, his helmet nestled in one arm as he rubbed his face with the other.

Myra did not have to reach out to feel the stress pooling off every pore. It showed in every movement he made: his feet dragging across the ground, his knuckles blanching as he tightened his hold around the helmet, his eyes darting across the room, looking at everything yet nothing at the same time.

Anxiety was an infestation that seeped its claws into everything. It ate away at one's ability to think properly. And it was present here in scores.

"Getting out of here will not be easy," he mumbled.

Myra nodded in agreement, though she knew Laurince was not paying attention to her.

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