Page 100 of The Throne's Undoing

She might not know if she could trust Laurince, but she could at least work with him.

Myra took a deep breath and said, "While I wish I could claim to be all those things, I am rarely honest. I care deeply, but I can be incredibly selfish. I try to be kind, but even though I often try to have the best intentions, I often seem to hurt the ones I love, even if they do not know it."

"You can claim to be dishonest, yet that might be the most honest thing I've heard in a long time," Laurince replied, tilting his head in thought.

His gaze stayed on her, but its intensity became too much to bear. Myra dropped her attention to her hands in her lap.

Then, a hand fell atop hers. When Myra flinched, Laurince retracted it immediately. "Apologies, I did not mean to scare you."

"I..." Myra bit her lip, then released it. "I'm fine."

"It is all right not to be fine, you know," he whispered, his voice more gentle than she deserved. "You are a prisoner."

"For the things I have done, I deserve to be."

Laurince reached out again. But this time, when his hand wrapped around the back of hers, Myra did not jump.

When Myra met his gaze, Laurince offered her a sad, knowing smile. "We have all done things that we regret. But our past does not have to define us if we do not give it the power to do so."

Myra did not know what to say. As she looked at him and the silence spread between them, she wished she could conjure the strength to act out against the king. She wished she could refuse him. She wished she did not have to let her fear consume her.

As Laurince's lips parted, another question on his tongue, a clattering sounded in the distance.

His gaze hardened. "I must go. If someone finds me here..." He shook his head, his words trailing off as he stood.

Panic rose in Myra's throat, and she scrambled to her feet. "Wait!"

He spun toward her, raising a brow.

"Don't...don't leave me here. I cannot..." Tears sprung to her eyes. She hadn't had a conversation that wasn't filled with threats for so long. Gods, how she missed feelinghuman.

"I'm sorry," Laurince whispered, raising his helmet. "I'll be back. I promise."

But as the door shut behind him, the lock clicking into place, Myra feared that if he ever did fulfill that promise, it would be too late.

Chapter 33

KALLIE

The next fewdays were much the same. Kallie lay in her bed in the infirmary, watching dawn rise as the sun lit the room. Medenia would come in the early mornings after Kallie had received a warm breakfast and would force her out of bed to walk the grounds.

The first few times, they came across no one but guards and Nyrri during their stroll, which Kallie didn't entirely mind. She found comfort when she was in the presence of the dragon-wolf.

However, Kallie quickly deduced that Medenia had chosen the enclosed garden for a couple reasons. Privacy was one of them, as civilians were unable to see into the area due to the large hedges that surrounded it. The other was the verylackof privacy it offered in actuality. The windows of the infirmary looked over the garden, and guards were stationed throughout the enclosed space and nearby outlooks.

The moment Kallie and Medenia stepped outside, the women standing guard straightened, their hands flexing near their weapons.

"Are all of the queen's guards truly women?" Kallie asked one morning as they sat brushing Nyrri's fur.

"Indeed," Medenia replied with a nod. "It has always been the case since the first leader. Because of her past, she did not trust men easily. When she came to power, she requested an all-female guard for her own comfort.

"Unlike many other territories at the time, and even to this day, my people have never prevented women from training with a blade. Men and women alike are equally trained here. However, the number of women outweighs the number of male guards throughout Tetria. Other kingdoms often underestimate us because of that fact."

"Does that not upset you?" Kallie asked, setting the brush aside.

Medenia shrugged a shoulder. "Honestly, no. They can doubt us all they wish, but when our blade is pressed against their throat, their hesitancy will be their undoing."

"The king once told me how foolish Tetria was for having the queen's guard entirely female. He had said it put her at risk."

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