Page 91 of As the World Falls

You’re a strange man.

But you like it.

I don’t entirely hate it.

I smile, put my phone back into my pocket, and start the process of waiting it out until I can finally go to her.

Two days passed, and it took every ounce of my reserve not to barge into Cecilia’s home. But finally, after camping out outside her apartment complex in my car like a stalker, I see Tobias leave at around midnight. I assume he’s going for the night since it’s so late, and I wait for only one more hour to be sure before I finally make my move.

I went inside her building and picked the lock on her door, quietly walking inside and shutting it behind me. The entire apartment was dark and empty of her usual life. I went straight to her bedroom, cracking open the door that wasn’t closed.

I see the form of her body lying in her bed, covered in a mountain of blankets. But despite being completely covered, I can still hear her muffled cries coming from beneath them.

My feet are moving again without a second thought, and I kneel on her bed, slipping in beside her. She jumps, yanking the blanket down from her face, her watery blue eyes connecting with mine.

“James?” She gasps.

I brush the hair out of her face, wiping her damp cheek with the caress of my thumb. “My Cecilia.”

I feel another river of tears run down and wipe them away again. “What are you doing here?” she asks.

“You know why.”

A whimper of a laugh escapes her. “You always come.”

“I always will,” I assure her. She curls her body into mine, and I wrap my arms around her, letting her soft cries empty into all the strength that I’m trying to push back into her. I’d never done anything like this before. Held someone like this or been there for them like this, but with her, it’s all I know how to do. I do it without a second thought as if her needs were my first instinct.

“We were supposed to be a family again,” she sobs. “I…I had Tobias back, and we would get our dad back.” Her words are mangled beneath her sobs, and I do what I can, rubbing her shoulders as she releases her pain. “I was supposed to get my dad back.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t want to feel anymore,” she says, looking up at me. “I don’t want to feel this pain anymore. It’s too much.”

“What can I do?”

Her hands run up my chest, wrapping around my neck and tangling her fingers into the ends of my hair. It’s like my nervesdance in pleasure with every touch she traces on me. She tilts her head, her lips softly pressing into mine.

I shut my eyes, savoring the way her lips felt against mine. They felt full and plush. I’d been craving to kiss her again since the first time, which felt so long ago now. I lose myself in her, kissing her back with more pressure. She moans, her arms tightening around my neck, and she climbs over top of me, forcing me to roll onto my back as I hold her to me.

Kissing her was like lighting a candle in my chest and letting the hot wax drip and ignite my insides. It was addictive and better than my wildest dreams. She was my wildest dream… which is exactly why we had to stop.

“Let’s slow down,” I murmured, tearing my lips from hers. She shakes her head, kissing me once again, and I have to fight my eyes from rolling back into my head at the taste of her.

“No. I don’t want to slow down,” she argues.

“Cecilia,” I say sternly, gently pushing her away. She sits back in bed, her eyes watching me in shock as I follow suit. “I’m sorry, but we can’t.”

“Are you serious?” she blurts. She looked hurt and angry, and that was the last thing I wanted, but I couldn’t go through with having sex with her either, so I guess this is where we’re at.

“I am,” I tell her. “When I have you, Cecilia, it will be because you want me. Because it’s all you can think about. Not because you want to numb your pain.”

She laughs incredulously and whips the blankets off the bed, standing now. “When you have me? What makes you so sure you will?”

“Please. Let’s not do this tonight.”

“I think you should leave.”

“Cecilia..”

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