Page 147 of As the World Falls

She laughs weakly, and her words come out slow and breathless. “I thought…the same,” she fights to say. “After everything…especially not you.”

Everything inside me feels like it’s sinking. Painfully falling away from me. ?“You’re going to be okay. No one is losing anyone ever again. Okay? I am not losing you. I cannot lose you, baby. You hear me?” The medics reach us just as she starts closing her eyes, and then they take her from me and…I can’t move. I watch like a statue as they carry her away, and Tobias rushes into the ambulance with her. I watch as they drive away with my life, and when they are out of sight and the sound of the sirens is no longer to be heard, I fall to my side and throw up until there is nothing left inside me.

Panic, unlike anything I’d ever felt before, invades my chest until I can’t breathe, and every part of my body feels restless, and then I throw up again. Her blood is all over my hands, and all I can think is that it might have been the last time I ever see her and hear her voice.

Tears run in rivers down my cheeks, and I continue to sit there. For the first time in my life, I had no idea what to do.

Chapter Forty-Three

James

One week later

I stare into the window of Cecilia’s hospital room. She was curled on her left side, her back facing me, fast asleep.

Tobias was slumped in the chair right next to her, also asleep.

I didn’t understand how she could sleep in that position after just being stabbed, but that was my Cecilia, a true warrior making it a competition with herself to heal the fastest. She was succeeding, too.

The knife went straight through her side, coming out of her back and damaging her spleen. She had to have it removed, but other than that, she was in the safe zone despite the life adjustments she’ll have to make now that she doesn’t have one of her organs.

She’s been up and moving, and her strength and speed are better than all the doctors have anticipated. Tobias was like her personal cheerleader, encouraging her and making her feel like she won the Olympics just for walking up and down the halls.

She was eating, drinking, and sleeping okay, so why was I standing here feeling so bloody terrified out of my mind that it felt like I couldn’t breathe?

Every time I looked at her, all I could see was her pale face and eyes, as if they were looking right through me. Blood coating her body everywhere. All I could hear echoing in my head were her short breaths that I was terrified would eventually run out.

I always felt sick and haven’t slept more than five hours this entire week.

I see her roll over to her other side in her bed and watch with a sinking stomach as her eyes slowly blink open, trying to see in the darkness. It was barely five in the morning, and the sun hadn’t risen yet.

I walk to the door and quietly go inside. Her eyes pop up to meet mine, and she softly smiles.

“I was wondering where you were,” she says softly.

I stand by her bed and gently caress her hair. “I ran home to shower. I made sure your brother would be with you.”

“He’s always here,” she grumbles. “Like a giant monster under my bed.”

That gets a laugh out of me. “He loves you.”

“I know. I’m just ready to go home.”

“It’s only been a week, Cecilia. You should rest more and?—”

“The doctor said I could go home today if all my blood work comes back normal and I’m not showing any signs of infection.”

It feels as though my throat closes up. “Today? That’s awfully soon.”

“I’ve been here for seven days. It’s not soon enough.”

“I know, but?—”

She eyes me warily. “Do you not…want me home? I can go back to my apartment if you?—”

“That’s not it,” I rush out. “Don’t even think that.”

“Then what is it?”

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