Page 79 of As the World Falls

Her dad looks at me skeptically and then back at her. “That’s okay. You know I’m grateful for whatever.”

“Come back next week, and I’ll have more for you,” she tells him.

He nods. “I will. I love you, honey.”

Her smile is so raw and forced that it breaks my heart. “I love you too, Dad.” She shuts the door as he leaves and does her best not to meet my gaze.

“So that’s your father?” I ask, following her back to her living room, where she sits on the couch.

“Yup.”

“Is he sick or something?” I already had a clue, but I was trying to be polite.

“You could say that,” she mumbles.

I sit beside her, keeping my eyes locked on her, hoping she’d meet them with hers. “Babe,” I relent, and she finally looks at me, a wall of tears built over her eyes.

“He just needs help sometimes, you know? If I don’t help him, I won’t see him as much. I need to know he’s taken care of.”

Sadness and anger slice through me so quickly, and I feel a moment of resentment toward her because I didn’t feel these things before her. I didn’t like feeling so off balance with things like emotions because it made the days that already felt hard nearly impossible. But again, I can’t even think about myself in this situation. I could only think about her and her father, who has failed her so many times and has made her take care of him when it should be the other way around.

“And what about you?” I bite out. “Who’s caring for you when you’re out here taking care of your dad and trying to rescue your brother?”

Her eyes fall from mine, and she balls her hands into fists as she tugs on her sweater. “I guess Lance does sometimes.”

More anger whips me straight in the chest, but I exhale sharply, trying to remain calm. “Does he really help you? Do you feel taken care of?”

She still doesn’t look at me. “Sometimes. I guess I just…feel lost in all my responsibilities, and I feel like Lance doesn’t understand how heavy it can all be. He comes from a picture-perfect family, so it’s not his fault.”

I think about her predicament, wondering what it’s like to care for people so much that you’d set aside your own needs to be there for them. It was how she started to make me feel, so I tried my best to see it all from her standpoint. “So, what would make you not feel lost anymore?”

Her eyes become heavier with unshed tears. “I just want my family back. Don’t you understand that’s why I did what I did for my brother? It’s been years since I’ve had him in my life and even longer since we’ve had my dad. I just want my brother back, near me, and then we can work on getting my dad back, too.”

“And you’ll just let yourself go in the process? Not worrying about what the ramifications or the disappointment will do to you?”

“Why do I have to be disappointed?” Her voice becomes more spiteful as she glares at me, the tip of her nose turning red from her warring emotions. “Why do you always make everything so negative?”

“Because that’s life, Cecilia. People disappoint you. You can’t always get what you want and how you want it. Your brother is in the best position of his life, but it’s still not enough for you. Your father is comfortable enough to take advantage of you weekly to support his habit. You need to let go of your little rescue missions and realize that maybe you’re the one that needs saving here.”

She stands up, her flaming eyes on me like daggers. It’s the darkest I’d ever seen them, like grey storms over a raging sea. “Get out,” she snaps. “You know nothing about me and my family.”

I follow, looking down at her. “Don’t pretend I’m not the only one who can see you for who you truly are. You know it, and that’s why you’re so upset.”

“Get out,” she seethes again.

“You can bark orders all you want, babe, but it won’t make me leave. Stomp off to your bedroom if you’d like, but I’ll be sleeping here tonight,” I say, pointing to her sun-colored couch. “I want to ensure you won’t get any more unexpected visitors.”

She bites down on her lip before releasing it in frustration. “Then I’ll just have Lance come over. He can watch out for me.”

I laugh, although it feels like poison fills my stomach with the idea of him being her protector. “Your little friend looks like he barely knows how to handle you, let alone a man with a gun. I think I’ll stay instead.”

She sighs irritably and whips around the couch, walking to her bedroom and slamming the door behind her. I chuckle as I sit back on her couch, leaning back into it and breathing deeply. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I answer it.

“James,” I hear Stef on the other end.

“I take it you’ve heard,” I guess.

“Oh, I heard,” Stef confirms. I swear shit gets around those families quicker than a high school full of gossiping teenagers. “You let me deal with Dante from here on out.”

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